School's Out

I guess I've been a little stressed lately.  You'd think I would post more but instead I've become a blog recluse of sorts.  Little things stress me out that I really shouldn't care about.   People talking bad about me when they don't even know me.  And then other people who DO know me, starting it.  I shouldn't care.  I should ignore it and let it go and move on.  I hate ending relationships without closure, even friendships.  Hell, especially friendships.  See, I don't share much of myself with people.  I mean, I'll tell you my whole life story from beginning to end if you ask.  I don't lie about anything I've done or try to make things sound better than they really were.  (or worse in some people's cases) But when it comes to sharing my actual feelings about places, people and events, I usually remain vague and distant.  I like to keep my feelings to myself so when I share them with someone, it means I trust them a great deal.  Or I was drunk and had a moment of weakness, wanting to connect with someone.  And when that trust is broken or discarded without a second thought, it hurts.  It's probably why I have such a problem trusting people with my inner most thoughts and feelings.  I try and be up front and honest with people.  I try to be adult if you will.  And I expect the same from my friends, no matter what their age.  While I may give a little more leeway to a 14 year old, being as they haven't had much time to grow and mature, but I expect the same from someone in their 20's as I give.  I'm just so fed up with people around my age saying they're so mature and make such good friends and then they turn around and prove to still have the mentality of a high school kid.  If you want to play with the big kids, act like one.  And it really bothers me when someone doesn't know me and make assumptions based on what someone else has told them.  If I have a problem with someone, I don't go rolling my eyes everytime I see them, I confront them and work on things verbally, like an adult.  I don't spread lies and rumors to anyone willing to listen.  Sometimes I just have to wonder if anyone ever actually grows up.  Am I the only mature person my age? 

Tags: stress, immaturity