Woe is me

For the past year I have been having urinary tract... issues.  It's difficult for me to start peeing and it takes what seems like an eternity and then it's hard for me to keep going.  I went to the doctor for it less than a year ago because I was having constant cramps.  Nothing was found on ultrasound and the next step was exploratory surgery... IF I continued to have pain.  I decided it didn't hurt that bad.  As time went on, things kept getting worse, to the point that it would take from 30 seconds to 3 minutes for me to start going.  If something isn't REALLY bothering me, I will put off going to the doctor and being used as a pin cushion.  Stubbornness runs in my family.  ; )  I finally went to the doctor for this three weeks ago.  I was given antibiotics and sent home.  I finished the medicine and noticed little if any difference.  Within the last week, I have started having pain in the lower part of my abdomen on the right side.  Pain that was so severe last night that it dropped me to my knees and left me laying on the floor of the hallway.  When I went to pee last night I had shooting pain from that spot through my back.  I decided that enough was enough and I needed to make another appointment.  They got me in today by 3.  One of the last things I wanted to happen with my doctor, happened.  He saw me naked from the waist down.  Now I know, he's a doctor, he's professional.  But I've been seeing him since I was a kid and feel more like he's a favorite uncle than my doctor.  So dropping trowel in front of him was not my idea of a great day.  He felt my ovaries and said it's possible that I have a cyst but didn't feel any masses that would immediately indicate cancer.  At this point, he's contacting my OB-GYN (who is just one floor below him) and they will decide together what steps are needed from here.  For now I'm on a narcotic called Ultram.  Today was the first time I have EVER taken a prescription pain killer.  All I can think at this point is what's next?  I'm not that worried about cancer or surgery at this point.  I just want the pain gone so I can move on.  I would like to be pain free for the first week of August as we are having a party and going to both Indianapolis and Chicago that week.  I would prefer not to be stoned out of my mind while doing those things.  (the Ultram makes me feel... odd) For now, I'm just waiting for a call back about another appointment.  And probably another pelvic ultrasound. 

Rocky is STILL in the hospital.  He's been there since last Saturday.  He hasn't improved very much.  He will be there till at the earliest, middle to end of next week.  The vet sounds like he'll probably be there longer.  The idea of the vet bill makes my stomach turn.  My husband and I discussed it and decided that if we could go back to the first day, we wouldn't have done anything differently.  But it's just so hard to stomach the bill.  AND we figured out that just two nights in the ER cost more than an entire week at our regular vet, where he is receiving 24 hour care.  With the money we have spent on this dog in a week, we could have literally went to Disney world and stayed IN the park for a week.  LITERALLY. 

Tags: urinary hesitancy, ovarian cyst, money woes, Rocky

Rocky

We spent Saturday night in the ER vet... AGAIN.  Somehow, our pit bull puppy, Rocky got parvo.  Yes, he's not up to date on his shots.  They were being taken in at the very end of this month to update everything.  He's never been anywhere except to my moms house and we've never brought strange dogs into the yard.  Our vet seems to think he got it from the raccoons that frequent our backyard at night.  At first we thought he had a broken rib and possibly had some internal bleeding.  We came home and he was missing so Shawn went to find him.  He was curled up in a ball in the corner of the yard.  Shawn carried him into the house and asked me to take a look at him.  He never even wagged his tail at me.  It appeared that at least one of his ribs was broken and "floating" in his chest cavity.  He was also extremely cold to the touch.  So I said screw it... we're already in debt, let's just take him to the vet now instead of waiting till morning.  When we got him there, they accused us of having harmed him. (in an indirect way... this could have come from someone kicking him) They did this with Rodeo as well.  After we got there, he started coughing.  They decided to do some xrays.  The xrays didn't show any broken ribs but she said the rib cage was still developing and the parts we were concerned about were cartilage and wouldn't show up on an xray.  The xray did show he had fluid in his lungs and an enlarged heart.  The enlarged heart is from a previously unknown heart murmur.  The fluid was from pnuemonia.  The pnuemonia was caused by him inhaling his slobber instead of swallowing it.  Oh yes, our dog is a genius.  After that we did a test to check to make sure that it wasn't blood in his lungs and tested the amount of time it took to clotte.  (checking for rat poisoning) It was negative.  Afterwards she asked if I wanted to do a parvo test just to be sure there wasn't anything else wrong.  I said fine, do it.  Even though I had previously declined with Rodeo.  I was totally expecting the test to be negative.  It was a very light positive.  Immediately after the test he had bloody diarrhea and vomited quite a bit.  At this point of time they told me he could still go home and have care there.  We intially said we'd take him home but changed our minds afew minutes later.  It turned out to be the right choice as he is still in the vet today (our regular vet) and will continue at the vet probably through the weekend.  He's a very sick dog.  I am shocked that he's so bad because we found it as early as it could possibly be detected.  He's also on a clinical trial of Tamiflu (used for humans normally).  The other puppies are on Tamiflu as well to prevent any possibly parvo from them.  I got their shots done on Sunday morning.  They've shown no signs of illness thus far.  We really hope it'll be staying that way as our vet bill is ridiculous now. 

My senegal parrot also died suddenly the day after we had Rodeo at the vet.  We have no idea what happened.  I kept her warm most of the night trying to help her make it till morning when I could get her to the vet.  She died at 8am.  It's been a shitty month.

Tags: Rocky, ER vet, parvo, parrot

To Protect and Serve

I visit this site frequently.  It became obvious to me very quickly that we are losing far too many of our men and women and felt I needed to say something about it.

Honoring Officers Killed in the Year 2007

If we keep going at the rate we've been for these past seven months, then by the end of this current year, 200 police officers will have been killed in the line of duty all across the united states.  200 men and women will have died protecting YOU and YOUR families safety.  Please take a moment to think of these men and women throughout your day.  Somewhere there's a home that daddy isn't coming back to, how do you explain that to 3 year old twins.  Or to the 3 year old little girl who no longer has her daddy.  They will never remember what it sounded like when their parents said their names, how they laughed or what joy they brought into their lives.  Remember those fallen officers for THEM.  For those children who have lost more than any should.  Rememeber.

Tags: police officers, dying in the line of duty, remember

And it all goes down hill

I spent last evening at the emergency vet clinic.  Our puppy, Rodeo was severely lethargic and bleeding from his mouth when I came home.  Not wanting to lose another baby, we chose to take our chance on it being nothing and take him to the vet. (which is a TON more expensive than your regular vet)  I was shaking and crying most of the way there.  They are a little over 30 minutes from my house.  I felt like he was getting worse every minute.  When we got there they took his temp and it was a very high 105. (norm is 102.3) He was hooked up to fluids. (250 cc) Given a penicillin shot and given pain medicine.  He has an abscess at the back of his mouth (where he has yet to even have teeth) from something poking him, possibly a stick.  (it was a nasty puncture) We brought him home with instructions to take him to our regular vet in the morning.  He slept with me in the bed all night.  He never moved except to occasionally lift his head.  Keep in mind this is an Australian Shepherd.  A very high energy breed.  So for him to be lethargic at all is disturbing.  In the morning Shawn gave him his med's and took him to the vet.  They just gave us more med's for when these run out and he needs to be brought back after they're gone to be sure the problem has been taken care of.  You can see the swelling in his face it's so bad.  He's only eaten a small amount of canned dog food in 48 hours.  He's hungry but it's just too painful for him to chew.  It was weird, he was fine when we left and then when we got back it was REALLY bad.  My poor boy. 

This morning I received a phone call from a friend whose dog has been severely ill for over a week and she was calling to tell me they had to have the dog put down.  Aysia was a good dog and there are many stories that could be told about various things they destroyed.  One night they came home and thought their house had been robbed and were preparing to call the police when they caught Aysia from the corner of their eye looking guilty.  I'm sure at the time they were super pissed but now it's things to look back on.  She got the absolute best care and they did everything they possibly could to save her life.  I hope she and August are off somewhere playing in a meadow field, chasing butterflies together.  Our dogs leave permanent paw marks on our hearts.  Each one different but each just as loved.

Tags: Aysia, August, Rodeo, Emergency Vet

It has been a really bad two weeks.  Thursday, June 28th, August my beloved Australian Shepherd was hit by a car and killed instantly.  The people that hit her only stopped to check on their car, not to see if my wonderful dog was on the side of the road suffering in pain.  I was unaware that fireworks were being let off when we put the dogs outside.  I started to fill their bowls with food and heard Mia barking as she usually does when outside and hears the food.  When I opened the door, my stomache sank as August wasn't right there with her scrambling to get inside to eat.  I began calling for her and when she didn't immediately return, I went inside to wake Shawn.  (while I was outside calling, the people were down the road surveying the damage to their car... had I known that she had just been hit, I don't know what I would've done to those people) He took the car and started calling for her down every road, while I stayed in the yard calling for her.  When I heard the brakes lock up and tires squealing, I knew what had happened.  I started crying immediatly and ran to the driveway.  It seemed like an eternity before he pulled back into the driveway.  When he got out he was crying and saying he was sorry.  I hit him, over and over and screamed no.  Then I lost it.  The rest of the night is a blur between retching sobs and total numbness.  I still haven't dealt with it.  If I try and think of the fact that she is actually gone, it makes me sick.  I'm not ready to dealt with it fully yet.  She was the perfect dog for me in every way.  She was tempermental (like me) and her mood could change from playful to attacking one of her playmates in a flash.  (me too except I attack with words) She would often mop around the house for no reason... (at least that I was aware) and I frequently do the same.  When I would come home, you could hear her barking at the backdoor.  When I'd open the door, she'd be wiggling her whole butt and be curved into a C she would get so excited.  She did the same thing to me the day I met her for the first time at the Humane Society.  (little did I know that was NOT how she greeted everyone... her normal greet was a bite to your calf but never with me) She was the best dog I ever had, she was the first dog I ever had and I will always grieve for her till the day I die.  You can't fully let go of grief when it's over someone so perfectly suited to you and you to them.  This was the first time she'd escaped from the yard in months.  She will forever be in my heart and I will forever be indebted to her for the love that she gave me.

Tags: August, June 28

Been a while

So... it's been a while since my last post. Me and Shawn started going to marriage counseling on Tuesday. Why is it that when I say that to people they immediately think that means in six months we'll be divorced? We don't have problems, we're smart enough to know that if we don't do something about communication, that we WILL have a problem. The funny thing is, the reason we have communication problems is because we're both so concerned with hurting the other person so we don't say what's bothering us and then it gets bottled up.  So we'll see this guy for 5 or 6 more sessions and then at the end of that, he'll decide whether we still need to see someone and he'll refer us to a counselor.  The social worker we're seeing is free and is a thing through his work, although they never know we see them.  It's complicated.  Employee assistance thing.  And I'll be referred to a shrink to change my medication, this time someone that is actually covered under my insurance. 

Jasmine's birthday was good.  She enjoyed everything she got.  ESPECIALLY one of the cheapest things I got her.  Crayons for the bathtub.  She draws like crazy in the tub now.  Before I couldn't get her in the tub without a fight and now I can't get her OUT.  She climbs back in the second I turn my back. 

We went to the Toledo Zoo last week.  Jasmine really liked the giraffes.  Me and my mom liked the rhino.  I'd never seen one before except on tv.  They're so much bigger than you would've ever expected them to be.  And the hippos were much smaller than I thought they actually were.  When we got to the chimpanzee's, there was a male laying against the glass and I put my hand on the glass by his face.  Jasmine copied the action a few seconds later and the chimp hit the glass and scared the hell out of Jasmine.  After a few seconds I had her do it again and again he hit the glass.  There was no getting her back there after that.  I thought it was funny but my mom and Jasmine were less enthusiastic.  I came home with a sunburn around my eyes.  The next day it turned into a nasty blister.  I was a little uncomfortable for a few days.  So much for make-up with SPF in it. 

Tags: marriage counseling, jasmine's birthday, toledo zoo

Jasmine!!

Today at 7:06am Jasmine will be two!!!!!

 

After looking through her photos (and maybe shedding a tear here and there) I think it's best watched as a slide show.  Click on photo and it shouldn't be too difficult from there.  I love my kid bunches and bunches and always. 

Tags: Jasmine's 2nd birthday