This N That

Went to the drive-in movies on Saturday night with my mom, Jasmine and hubby.  We saw Wall-E and the Hulk.  I really wanted to see the new Angelina Jolie movie but there wasn't anything Jasmine would've enjoyed on that screen.  She seemed more interested in climbing through the car than watching the movies but after Wall-E ended, she asked if we could watch it again and then was calling out Wall-E out the window.  She stayed awake through both features and we didn't get out of there till around 1:30am.  My husband on the other hand passed out halfway through Hulk.  Wimp.  Both movies were good.  Wall-E was cute but had very few words in it.  Apparently robots aren't so good with the english.  Hulk was surprisingly good, considering I'm not a fan of the comic book movies.  I just don't really get into them. 

Sunday, Jasmine continued on with her no diapers, only underwear.  We skipped Saturday since we were out all day and not close to bathrooms.  She didn't have any accidents again and even went poop!  I know, some of you are like TMI but I hear that's the hardest thing to get them to do on the potty and she did it on her own, without begging and pleading from her parents.  I do need to start taking her potty thing to my mom's before she falls into their toilet over there.  We lit off a few sparklers that we bought Saturday.  She's been begging to see fireworks ever since we bought our load for 4th of July.  Those things sure do make me nervous.  I had my hand on her elbow the entire time, making sure she didn't suddenly decide to get a closer look at the flames or anything.  She has a total of 252 sparklers.  They were buy one get one free and I bought the smallest package they had.  The kid is going to be lighting sparklers till NEXT 4th of July. 

I have a canker sore in the worst spot right now.  I hardly ever get these things but when I do they always position themselves in places that are impossible not to irritate.  This one is almost on my lip and it's constantly rubbing on my lower canine.  Oral gel only seems to last five minutes and then it seems to numb all the wrong areas of my mouth.  Other than that I've been feeling pretty good the last few days.  Hopefully the closer I get to the second trimester, the better I'll feel as far as everything else goes.  Speaking of being pregnant, I have my first doctor's appointment this Wednesday.  Not too much to be excited about.  Pee in a cup, have places viewed and scraped that should just be left alone and then hear the heartbeat.  I've already heard the heartbeat so there's not much anticipation for me on this one.  The next thing to wait for is the ultrasound that will hopefully say boy or girl, although I'm pretty positive that I know what it is and most of those around me are very aware of what I think it is so I'll feel like an ass if I'm wrong. 

For all you other bloggers that I'm a regular at, I haven't stopped reading, I swear.  I've just been awful about commenting.  It seems like I'll comment a lot one night and then I'm silent for weeks but I'm keeping up on your lives and happenings, I'm just a bit lazy right now apparently. 

To Bed

Today was just not a good one for me.  I just felt emotionally like crap and it just seemed to get worse as the day went on till I just went home and cried.  I still have to feed the dogs and all I want to do is nothing. 

Jasmine wore underwear all day today for the first time and didn't have any accidents.  Not even when we went to Walmart.  She even told me while we were there that she needed a potty. 

Tomorrow we run to get some fireworks for the 4th.  It's an hour drive and I want to get it over with.  We may go to the drive-in, depending on the weather.  I'd also like to get my hair trimmed.  We'll see how it goes.  For now I guess I'll feed the dogs and go to bed.

Flutter Flutter

Many women get all excited when they feel the first flutters of their baby, some cry, some are giddy.  I on the other hand don't think it's quite so fantastic.  When I first felt them this time around, my thoughts were pretty much 'Fan-frickin-tastic.  That's just great.  Already?!'  You see, I'm a realist.  I know that right now, it's a few annoying flutters but soon it will be full fledged ass kicking.  Jasmine used to move so hard that you could SEE her legs rolling across my stomach.  The worst was when she would kick me in my pelvic bones.  I find the whole thing to be annoying.  I know, someone, some where gasps and thinks how awful that I don't fully enjoy every little jerk and jab but, eventually it hurts.  And I absolutely HATE when they get the hiccups.  There's no way for you to stop it.  You can hold your breath for a week and it won't make much difference.  They can hiccup for hours on end, the whole time your stomach flinches and it's hell if you have an upset stomach.  But then, once you reach 20 weeks, you freak out if you don't feel anything from the little monster.  You call the doctor and wonder if you should go in for a stress test.  The one time I had that happen, I was in labor and my doctor told me to drink a full glass of cold water.  I still don't remember ever feeling her again that night because after I drank that water, all I could feel was extreme pain.  Jasmine isn't yet aware that I'm pregnant.  Not sure how long I'll wait.  Probably until I'm really showing.  Nine months is a long time for a toddler to wait and not something they understand.  However, right after I became pregnant, Jasmine began saying she was going to go play with "her brother" or she would say "be nice to my brother."  Probably just from something she saw on tv.  Probably.

Saturday is the one year anniversary of the death of my aussie, August.  It wasn't till this past month that I realized something.  I haven't acted the same towards animals since she died.  I don't feel the same.  I'm a little more cold towards them, a little distant.  Sincerealizing this, I've tried to be a little more warm and inviting but I feel like I lost something inside me the day I lost her.  I don't feel as if I will ever feel the same about another dog.  It was the same way when my cat Tyler died years and years ago.  I haven't been the same towards cats.  I have a favorite but it's just not the same.  (Isaiah, my white siamese mix)  I think everything I've done since she's died has been my way of subconsciously trying to feel that way again.  I got Savannah after she died and I KNOW that I wouldn't have her if I still had August.  Volunteering at the rescue was another thing.  I wonder if this is the way I'll always feel?  I once heard there's one perfect dog for every person and when you find that dog, it's the luckiest day of your life.  But happens when you lose that dog?  How do you get past that? 

Kitties and ca-booms

Some days it seems like I could write a book on here, whereas other days I seem to have nothing to say at all.  I finally got pictures of all the kittens.  They're eyes aren't completely healed yet but I took a wet washcloth and wiped them up.  I have to get their pictures up on the website before they get too old.  They get to a certain age and it's near impossible to get rid of them, especially some of these guys.  They're basic gray/white kittens and don't really stand out among our others.  I have on buff kitten and he'll probably go pretty quickly.  I just need to get them completely healthy and then they'll go on to one of the other fosters. 

My stomach continues to feel bigger.  I know I'm showing but not to the point that strangers think 'oh look she's pregnant.'  It would be more like 'Hmmm, someone needs to do some ab workouts.'  Some of my food aversions seem to be lessening now, although I still feel a bit queasy first thing in the morning.  The second trimester is supposed to be the "best" as far as how you feel.  We're planning on going hiking in a few weeks.  It's only for the day so I should be pretty good with it.  If we were planning on doing something that involved the ab region, I wouldn't be able to do it. 

We also worked it out so that we can do a few fireworks this year.  I came up with the idea of having everyone pitch in $25 and then we have the 4th at my mom's with hamburgers and hotdogs.  We've got $100 but Shawn and I may add another ten or so to that if needed.  The place we're going to is buy one get one free of everything.  I'd like to do a few bigger things and some fountains.  I used to think fountains sucked and were a waste of time but then I had a kid and they think they're the coolest thing in the world.  Makes them not so worthless when you see a little ones face light up.  Now I have to go find my coupons to the stupid place.  *Sigh*  I lose everything right now.

Yes, I know, this is like my fourth post tonight

While I was on youtube, I decided to look up some of my favorite Joe Rogan stand up.  The one that is my absolute favorite is about Noah's Ark and in my opinion is funny as hell but REALLY vulgar and I thought better of posting it.  This one is about our dumb president and war.  By the way, he didn't steal any of his jokes from Carlos Mencia, it was the other way around folks fyi.  WARNING :: This video contains the F-word more times than I felt like counting and is not for virgin ears or those with curse word issues.  ;)

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The Vid

This is them singing it.  Obviously, he isn't talking about gorillas looking through their glass cage.

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Looking Glass

Ok, most people that I've told this to think I'm seriously weird.  There's a song that's been out for quite some time that is from Stone Sour and it's called Through Glass.  Most of you know how I feel about gorillas.  I have an extremely difficult time seeing them in captivity and yet when I do see them, I feel compelled to stay as long as possible.  I feel like there is definitely more to them than just some animal, even without all the scientific evidence to prove it.  It's in their eyes.  I want to apologize to every single one of them for taking away their homes and for locking them in cages.  In the defense of most of the zoos I've been to, they only have gorillas that are unable to be returned to the wild or were born in captivity.  Back to the (one of) the reason I'm weird.  When I hear this song, from the very first time I ever heard the lyrics, it reminds me of the gorillas at the zoo.  So I leave you with the lyrics and you can see for yourself if I'm completely insane or if you too see it.   

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(Null and void instead of voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
Whenno one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your heaaaaddd

And it's the stars
The stars
That shine for you.. yeah-ah
And it's the stars
The stars
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

Ohhhoh when the starrs
Ohhh oh when the starrrrs that liieee