puppsalis

On Mother's day I got a puppy!  Ok, so it's not what you're thinking.  =)  My mom sponsered a puppy from a local foster program in my name.  I'm sure with the excitement on my face, you would've thought I had actually gotten a puppy.  I got a picture of him though.  He's cute. 

Today me and Jasmine spent the day planting flowers and our vegatable garden.  I still have tons of seeds to plant.  Shawn just kept picking out packages of flowers that he thought were neat and now I have half the flowers in the area waiting in my kitchen to be planted.  While I was working on a place to put my carrots (weeding) I found a funny looking seed thing on the ground.  I picked it up and realized it was a chrysalis.  It is a very new one so it'll probably be around three weeks before a butterfly comes out of it.  I know it's alive because the caterpillar is still moving around.  I don't even know why it would've chose that area to begin it's life change but it did.  I'm just glad I didn't accidentally chop it in half.  It will spend it's time in my kitchen until it's time for it to fly off and live the next part of it's life.  It's very cool in my opinion.

Tags: chrysalis, sponsor puppy, butterfly

So Different

How nice it is to be in a good mood for once.  I cleaned the house a bit tonight.  Still have a long way to go before I'll be happy with but that's because deep down I'm a neat freak who never thinks anything is clean enough.  BUT when I go to other people's houses I always feel intimidated because they always look so spotless, no matter what they may think they're house looks like.  I watched Smoking Aces tonight.  It was a pretty decent movie, not fantastic but I'd watch it again.  The outakes where good too. 

The dogs got into a fight tonight.  No serious injuries but it was enough for me to have a sore throat from yelling.  Three dogs trying to kill eachother and a toddler screaming bloody murder is never a good time.  My eldest, August an Austrailian Shepherd came out the worst with one large puncture and one small in her ear.  Mia has (border collie) a small puncture on her leg and Molly didn't get a scratch, although she did cause some bruising on Auggie's leg.  Breaking up dog fights was much easier before I had a child to worry about.  This is the first serious fight we've had since we moved in back in August.  A big change from when we lived at my mom's when there was a fight about once a month or every two months.  Some of them serious enough to warrant a trip to the ER vet.  And yet, I've still managed to be in a good mood. 

Tags: cleaning, dog fights, smoking aces

Yucky yuck yuck

Getting ready for bed, I found yet another tick.  It was just above my bed on the wall.  Before I go to bed, I watch tv and lean my pillows and HEAD against the wall, just inches from where I found the little black bastard.  Now I feel very creepy crawly.  Every two seconds I feel like something is crawling on me.  I'm sure I look like a meth addict.  That is FIVE I have found in my house in a week.  I think that's enough to freak anyone out.  At this point I'm thinking, screw the environment on this one.  I just want them dead. (changed my mind on this after reading some of the effects that some of these products can have my health as well as my daughter's health) I'm going to try and go as enviromentally safe as possible but I getting something to kill them.  I don't like the idea of something sticking any part of it's body into mine and then sucking my blood.  And there's no amount of cleaning you can do to be sure they're all gone.  They can get so flat that the vaccuum doesn't even get them.  So if you come to my house before the next winter, check yourself just like you would after going camping.  I'm never going to get to sleep tonight.

Tags: ticks

Clean

I'm feeling quite a bit better today than I was yesterday.  Amazing what a fresh batch of cookies and a little ice cream will do.    I'm working on getting the house clean room by room.  And I've resolved to no longer leave things lay there till "later."  At least for now.  If I do everything when it happens, I won't spend two hours cleaning later on.  I think having a clean house all the time will make me feel a little better.  I just wish my daughter could understand that deliberately spilling her juice/pop/milk on the floor is not my idea of a good time.  I'm in the process of switching my house over to a little more enviromental products.  I'm waiting for the rest of my light bulbs to burn out before I replace them with the better ones.  I bought the Method floor cleaner last week and it works really well, plus there's only the slightest smell of lemon after you're done cleaning.  I have asthma and the harsh chemicals in some of those other products (mr.clean) make me wheeze for hours.  The only downside to it is that you have to sprinkle it on the floor as you go.  You don't mix it with water in a bucket and keep going back and forth.  That could be a good thing or bad depending on who you are. 

Tags: Environmentally safe floor cleaner, asthma

Hate

Is it possible to hate yourself but still love your life?  I love my husband and our daughter, our house, our yard, our animals, etc. but I can't seem to be happy with me.  I hate that I can never seem to get anything completely done.  I hate that I can never get the house clean.  I hate that I feel like this.  I hate that I can't seem to lose that last inch of pregnancy weight around my waist.  I hate that my body doesn't look like it did when I was 20.  I hate that I'm not really good at anything.  I hate that I'm not more of a martha stewart kind of mom.  I hate that I stay up all night and sleep all day.  I hate that everyone thinks they know the right way to live my life and feel they have a right to voice that to me... loudly.  I'm just fed up with being me right now.  If I was younger and didn't have a kid, I'd go get drunk for a week and I'd feel better, for a week or so but that's not an option for me anymore.  And besides that, all my friends are either pregnant, live far away or don't drink, so I'd be sitting by myself in a corner looking like a total lush.  I wish my house was always clean, even if I didn't know you were coming over.  I wish it always smelled like roses.  I just want to be a different person.  Sometimes I don't even feel like I know WHO I am.  Am I a reliable person?  How do people feel about me?  I continually ask myself really high school-ish questions that I should be over by now.  I want to be able to cry my eyes out just because I feel like crap.  (I can't because of the dosing of anti-deppressant I'm on...) I wish I didn't hate me so much.

Tags: depression, anxiety, hate

Ticked off

I HATE ticks.  We have found four in the house.  And two inbedded.  One was in my leg this morning and the other was in my doberman's ear.  Neither had been there long but it's still gross.  I want to find an environmentally safe way to remove them from my yard but am having trouble finding anything.  I don't want to kill any birds because I wanted to rid myself of ticks.  My grandparents lived in this house for almost fifty years and she says they never had ticks this bad.  I just want them gone.

Tags: ticks

The next several entries will be from a few days ago.  The last entry is from today.  I've been writing them but not putting them on here just out of sheer laziness.  =)