BP's

I think I may end up calling my OB on Monday.  I'm getting concerned with my bp and my pulse.  Last night I felt like my heart was pounding/racing.  I found the only clock in our house that has a second hand and found that my heart rate was 105 a minute.  That is extremely high for me.  My normal, pre pregnancy heart rate is the high 60's/low 70's.  I know it's supposed to be higher in pregnancy but I thought that was a little extreme.  After a few hours, my pulse went down to middle 80's, probably very normal.  Tonight, when we were out, my heart rate again felt like it was racing so I went to a bp machine while my husband paid for our groceries and my bp was 112 over 60.  That's really high for me, particularly the top number.  My pulse was back up to 95 at that time.  I just want to be told its normal and if they want me to come in, I'll be able to find out if I'm spilling protein into my urine.  I had relatively low bp's while pregnant with Jasmine and never had any issues with it.  If anything, they felt it was on the low side.  That's always been the feeling with my bp.  It's no wonder I faint easily.  (ok, mainly when a needle is involved)  My next appointment isn't until the 13th and I'm not sure if I feel comfortable waiting that long to ask.  I'll be fine if a nurse tells me it's fine and that I can wait, but I think I'd like to know.  Baby has been moving like normal, which has been a relief.  I'm to the point in my pregnancy that if there's a change in movement, I notice it without even realizing I'm paying attention.  I know it seems like I worry a lot but I actually think it's far less than what the average pregnant woman goes through.  I'm a part of a forum of women who are due the same month I am and there are days I wonder if their OB's hate them.  Some of them call several times a week for normal aches and pains that come with being pregnant.  Many of them have been to the ER on several occasions already, only a few with good reason.  I'm usually a wait and see person and only called my OB with a problem once with my last pregnancy.  (and had an emergency appointment that same day... nothing was wrong however)  OB's have to breathe a sigh of relief when they get a patient who isn't paranoid that every possible symptom is some major problem in their pregnancy.  There are so many resources out there, particularly on the internet, that it's enough to make the most calm and controlled mom, panic.  I like to be informed but I think there's such a thing as being overly so.  Sometimes a little ignorance is bliss.  Ask any female OB who has also been pregnant at one point and time. 

Kids

Tonight, after we ate dinner, we headed to Walmart to pick up a few things.  As we were nearing the end of our trip, Shawn saw someone who he knew and they talked for a few minutes.  With strangers, Jasmine can be really shy and hid her face for most of their conversation.  I was carrying her as we walked away and she said that was a bad man mommy.  (he's not)  I asked her why she thought he was a bad man.  She says "That black guy is a bad man."  This, as we're walking past a group of black women.  Face turn red?  Yup.  I tried to explain to her that he's just a guy and he's not a bad guy.  Just. A. Guy.  It was shocking that she said that because we normally don't say anything about skin color.  Then I remembered that one time she asked about our friend and why he was darker and I told her because he was black and that's how he was born.  I was thinking that every time she sees a black person she is going to very loudly state that person is black. 

I made a few of the sugar cookies tonight so Jasmine would quit bugging me.  The nice thing (one of the only nice things) about rolled out cookies is that you can make some and then throw the rest of the dough in the fridge till later.  The dough wasn't quite cold enough and stuck to everything that touched it, making it a bit difficult to roll out and cut.  They're a little bland for my taste but maybe it'll be a little sweeter when I add some icing.  I plan on making a portion without icing and then some with as I will be sending a great deal of them to work with my husband.  I was unaware until I got the ingredients together that it makes 60 cookies.  That's way more than even I can eat.  I'll probably go back to the cream cheese sugar cookies.  They have more taste and are naturally sweet.  (and a little easier to roll out)  Jasmine helped make the entire batch, which is a first.  Last year I let her put sugar on them and that was the extent of her "helping."  I have this issue with little kids hands touching my food so I didn't want her messing with anything till she was a little older and understood that she should wash her hands and keep them clean.  She did a pretty good job of listening to directions.  We made a little mess but that would've happened even without her help.  (My excuse is along the lines of the bigger the mess, the better the food)  The only other thing I didn't care for with this recipe was that the batter doesn't hold up will in the oven.  My half moons looked like blobs and the pumpkins were oddly shaped circles once everything was cooked. 

The Hormones made me do it!

I'm thinking of making sugar cookies this weekend.  I have most of the ingredients here already, just need to pick up a few items while I'm out and about tomorrow.  I love the taste of them but really hate making them.  All my favorite recipes require you to roll out the dough and use a cookie cutter.  I had no idea until last year how difficult it is to get those little bastards off the counter without ripping someone's arm off.  (last time I made xmas cookies with ginger bread men)  I had a great way of doing it by the end of the last holiday season but wouldn't you know, I've forgotten what it was.  I'm also going to make my own icing.  Something else I hate doing but I figured I'd give it another try.  Last year I had to make two batches as the first one was crumbly and not edible.  The second one was great but too runny.  I'll be trying a new recipe this time around that is supposed to harden after about 8 hours.  If I don't like these I'll try the cream cheese sugar cookies again but I think I'll leave out the almond extract, it gave them a funky taste.  I prefer a more vanilla taste personally.  Last weekend I made both cupcakes and brownies.  Even my husband was unable to keep up with all the sugary goodness.  ;)~ 

I wish I could say my day was much better after a night of sleep.  My hormones were full blown after I woke up however and left me an emotional mess.  I broke down balling because my husband didn't come right home before going to pick up a pizza.  Yes, you read it right.  I was supposed to spend the evening at my mom's, with said pizza but I only managed to eat two pieces and then came back home.  Eventually, my husband was able to get out of me what was wrong.  (by then I didn't want to tell him because I felt idiotic)  He then took me for ice cream.  I guess you could say my day ended better than it began.  Really, what pregnant woman doesn't want ice cream?

Just stressed

I wasn't planning on making an entry today.  Nothing has happened at all.  I was extremely fatigued the entire day so I didn't move much aside from making dinner.  However, I have to purge some of what is in my brain.  It's the only way for me to some how work through this point in my pregnancy.  It happens in most pregnancies, the worrying about what's to come.  I have a great deal more of that this time than I did with Jasmine.  When I had Jasmine, I still lived at my mom's, I had fewer animals and she was my only child.  Basically, I had a great deal less stress.  This time around, I have seven dogs, four cats, birds, ferrets, a rabbit, a toddler and an entire house that needs my care.  Immediately after she was born, I had a house full of people there that I could count on to do what I just didn't feel like doing.  I'm concerned with how Jasmine is going to take having my attention diverted to someone else.  Even I'm going to have a hard time with that adjustment so I can't imagine how she'll react.  I'm also worried that I'll go too early and the baby will have to struggle to survive.  Or that I'll go late and they'll force me to induce.  (I absolutely do not want to be induced or get a c-section, both are worse for the baby than if mom labored naturally on her own)  I worry I made the wrong decision getting pregnant this soon.  Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have waited till Jasmine was a little older.  But then I didn't want them to be really far apart either.  I wonder if I can actually do this again.  I'm so worried about how Jasmine will do, won't that increase when I have two children and I'm contemplating a third?  And I still really wish that my mom could be in the labor and delivery room with me when the time comes.  Before I got pregnant, my original plan was to have my mom, Shawn and Jasmine in the room throughout the entire thing.  If things had been able to go that way, I would've gone into saying, yes I'm definitely getting the epidural because I don't want to scar my kid for life.  (screaming)  Then I found out that no children under the age of 12 are allowed in the room.  I should just go to sleep.  Maybe my brain will clear itself sometime overnight. 

Taking a beating

First off, husband made the appointment with his doctor.  The doctor believes that Shawn pulled or tore a muscle in his chest.  When this happened, husband's anxiety level sky rocketed, causing the raised blood pressure.  (obviously, he worried about heart attack, he freaked)  Just to be on the safe side, he will be having a stress test on Friday but doc seems fairly certain after pushing around on husband's chest that, it's nothing major.  It will however take some time to heal due to the fact that it's impossible to restrict chest movement, short of stopping breathing. 

I am a walking injury.  Tonight, I was making chocolate shakes for everyone and Jasmine brought her metal Dora chair in to watch.  She managed to tip the chair and the metal edge landed on my toes.  It bruised almost immediately.  All the injuries I've incurred the last week have been on my left side.  Poor Jazzy said Daddy, I didn't mean to hurt mommy.  She got a big hug and I told her it was ok and only an accident but keep the metal chair away from mommy for a while.  ;)  I think I'm just going to pad the entire left side of my body and I'll be ok till delivery. 

The kittens look better every day.  Saffron had been looking a bit worse for the wear the last few days but seems to be getting a little better.  His nose had been so stuffed up that he was forced to breath through his mouth.  (but that didn't restrict his naughtiness any!)  The only downside to him feeling better is that he has pent up energy from several days of relaxing.  The cat was all over me tonight.  I walked in, hands full of medicine, food and water, he climbs up me and is hanging from my boob, within a few seconds he's wrapped around my neck, trying to eat my hair.  It's going to take a very special (or patient!) person to take on this kitten.  Honestly, if I didn't have two indoor cats right now, I'd keep him.  I always like the rotten ones.  He and Catalina (previously the orange kitten) beat the crap out of each other.  I wince watching them.  Meowi (previously the little black kitten) occasionally gets involved with them but for the most part, tries to play with toys or the kittens that aren't out for blood.  Meowi seems to have a permanently startled look.  Her eyes are always bugging out of her head.  She even looks like this when falling asleep from being petted.  I'm not sure if she'll... grow into her big eyes or if this is a quirk her new owners will be able to joke about for years.  I've been trying to get Mama Spice to do something other than ask to be petted.  I know she's a young cat, there's got to be some spunk in there somewhere.  Right?  Finally, after aggravating the hell out of her tonight, she played.  I regretted it.  She plays rough.  I see where Saffron gets it from now.  Luckily, for her future owners, the only way to get her to play is to really annoy her for some time, otherwise she just wants to be petted and sleep.  I promise to get more pictures soon.  It's easier to get good pictures when there's someone to help and I usually do all my cat stuff while Shawn is at work.  I think on camera the two orphans will still look a little funky.  They have fur that just looks greasy even though it's not and it looks even worse on film.

You could say it's been a long day

What a day.  No one called to give me the news.  They had been given instructions not to and I can't help but think of the what ifs.  What if something had actually been wrong and no one called me because he instructed them not to?  When it got to be 4:30 and my husband wasn't home from work yet, I called his cell.  I figured he was going to tell me he had to stay over for some union business (he's a steward) or that he stopped at the store for something to make for dinner.  No.  What he tells me is that he's in the ER and had been taken there by ambulance.  Ok, he's talking so I'm not immediately freaking out.  He had some chest pains at work and was feeling really funky so he went down to the nurse (yes, they have a nurse at his work), she freaked out, and called an ambulance after dosing him with aspirin.  They wouldn't even let him walk out of the building, he had to be taken out by stretcher.  (which was highly annoying to my husband who said he was perfectly capable of walking, there was nothing wrong with his legs)  They started an IV on him in the ambulance, even though nothing was ever administered through said IV and it was a piss poor one to begin with.  I think the EMT was having a bad day and just felt like bruising him for a week or so.  I've started better IV's on squirming animals, seriously.  They get him to the ER, do all the tests and blood work, everything turns up normal.  EKG, normal as well.  ER doctor says he needs to stay overnight and have blood tests done every three hours and then a stress test in the morning.  My husband decides to sign out AMA.  Of course, he didn't tell me this till later or I probably would've told him to keep his ass at the hospital.  I told him he'd better hope he doesn't have a heart attack in the next 24 hours because our insurance wouldn't pay for the medical procedures to save his life since he signed out AMA.  ER doctor sounded pissed and told him there was a possibility that he could have a heart attack and die but says he's only telling him that because the law says he has to and that my husband is at a very low risk for a heart attack.  Did I mention, my husband is 27?  He probably didn't get the home coming he was expecting.  I wasn't exactly hugging him and bringing him anything he wanted.  I was pissed that at 27, he would have any reason to suspect there was a problem.  I was telling him, no more greasy Mexican food from the place down the road, no more Chinese food from all the other greasy places.  I don't think I've ever voiced until today that one of my fears is that I'll be a 50 year old widow because my husband didn't take better care of himself.  You want to know that you will be with your spouse till your both ready to go.  When you're old and can't remember each other's names anymore.  I don't want to think that I could have less than 25 years left with him.  He's supposed to call his regular doctor today (who is a quack any way and I've tried to get him to switch to someone else for years) and if he doesn't, he's getting his butt kicked.  Oh and he and I are both pretty sure it was an anxiety attack. 

This evening I spent running my ass off trying to get everything done before it was time to go to bed.  We spent most of the evening at my mom's or I would've started some of it earlier in the night.  The dogs didn't even get fed till midnight.  And by that point, I didn't want to take any crap from any of them.  My back felt like it was going to snap in two.  Cash had peed in his crate earlier in the day but I just put him in the Aussie boys crate since I took them with me to my moms.  (I was in a hurry and would clean the crate when I got home)  For whatever reason, Savannah peed in her crate while I was gone.  If she had a different crate I would've still be annoyed but not quite what I was.  She has a travel crate.  I have to break down the crate completely in order to clean it in the house (it was dark when I got home... I wasn't battling the buggy creatures outside to wash the crate) and then drag it to the bathtub.  After both crates were clean, my back was hurting.  And I still had to do laundry for my husband.  There are some days where I don't have much to do at all and then others where it seems like I'm never going to get a chance to sit down.  Just glad we didn't have dinner here or else I would've had to clean the dishes too.  I'll be so happy to go nighty night later. 

Names

I think I'm going to name them Meowi and Catalina.  ;)