Thursday, September 25, 2008
Just stressed
I wasn't planning on making an entry today. Nothing has happened at all. I was extremely fatigued the entire day so I didn't move much aside from making dinner. However, I have to purge some of what is in my brain. It's the only way for me to some how work through this point in my pregnancy. It happens in most pregnancies, the worrying about what's to come. I have a great deal more of that this time than I did with Jasmine. When I had Jasmine, I still lived at my mom's, I had fewer animals and she was my only child. Basically, I had a great deal less stress. This time around, I have seven dogs, four cats, birds, ferrets, a rabbit, a toddler and an entire house that needs my care. Immediately after she was born, I had a house full of people there that I could count on to do what I just didn't feel like doing. I'm concerned with how Jasmine is going to take having my attention diverted to someone else. Even I'm going to have a hard time with that adjustment so I can't imagine how she'll react. I'm also worried that I'll go too early and the baby will have to struggle to survive. Or that I'll go late and they'll force me to induce. (I absolutely do not want to be induced or get a c-section, both are worse for the baby than if mom labored naturally on her own) I worry I made the wrong decision getting pregnant this soon. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have waited till Jasmine was a little older. But then I didn't want them to be really far apart either. I wonder if I can actually do this again. I'm so worried about how Jasmine will do, won't that increase when I have two children and I'm contemplating a third? And I still really wish that my mom could be in the labor and delivery room with me when the time comes. Before I got pregnant, my original plan was to have my mom, Shawn and Jasmine in the room throughout the entire thing. If things had been able to go that way, I would've gone into saying, yes I'm definitely getting the epidural because I don't want to scar my kid for life. (screaming) Then I found out that no children under the age of 12 are allowed in the room. I should just go to sleep. Maybe my brain will clear itself sometime overnight.
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6 comments:
Ahhhh don't you love the long restless nights of things swarming in your brain? :)
Things have a way of working themselves out. Try not to worry, worrying does no good at all. I had Shelby C section and never gave a second thought about it. She is just fine, and I for one am glad I didnt have to go through the pain and pushing and all that. Some say the bond isnt as strong if you dont go through it, but I dont believe that. I have a very strong bond with Shelby even today. If I were to get pregnant now...wow. Well, I would have to downsize considerably as far as the animals go. That would make me sad. Do what you need to do to alleviate some of this stress. Its not good for you or the baby. I think you will be just fine though. Like I say, things have a way of working themselves out. Hugs, kelly
Jamie, I wish I could take away your worries by waving a magic wand! I think Kelly is right--things have a way of working themselves out. Take care of the things that are in your control and try not to worry about what you can't control. Is there a neighbor kid who could help you with the animals? Take a little of that work off of you? Just a thought....
I hope you were able to get a good night's sleep--sometimes that works wonders!
Hugs, Beth
I do hope that after you had written your journal that yo manage dto get a sleep. It is sometimes good just to get things down on paper...that in itself puts things into prospective. I am sure that all will be well in the end my dear and you will look back at this time and laugh at yourself....I think it is good that Jasmine is going to have a brother or sister and she is at a good age not to be too jealous. Knowing you you will have everything under control...Much Love Sybil xx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/sybilsybil45/villagelife/
Sorry you are feeling stressed. You have many things to be thankfull for, and soon you will have another :o)
Sorry to hear you are feeling so stressed out tonite. I know it's easy for me to say try to stop worrying, I'm not in your situation so things always look better when you aren't the one going through it....BUT, try not to worry so much. Jasmine will be fine, there are millions of people out there with more than one child and it all works out. Of course they'll be an adjustment period for everyone but it will all fall into place. As far as the method of birth, I can't help you out there but I would want the easiest, least painful method possible!!!! I know that will make you smile. ;)
xxx
Lisa
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