Sideways Christmas

In the last 24 hours, our Christmas tree has toppled four times.  I wanted to make it into firewood.  Instead, we bought a new tree stand, took off all the Christmas lights (over 15 strands) and started over.  I took the lights off in a really stupid way.  I basically slide all the lights over the branches onto the floor.  I had a cluster of lights.  It took over an hour just to untangle them and two hours to put them all back up.  If it falls over again, I'm giving it to the trashman, lights included.  And of course, everytime it fell it lost about a million needles that I had to keep sweeping up and while I was putting all the damned lights on, it lost even more needles.  I'm going to be finding those things on my floor till next Christmas.  Surprisingly, the house is staying fairly clean.  I'd like it spotless on Christmas day.  I know it won't stay that way all day due to so many people being in the house but I'd like it to be that way when everyone shows up.  I think in order for that to happen, I'd better send Jasmine to her grandma's from now till then.  And give the dogs and cats sedatives everyday.  Yeah I see that one happening.  I want a maid for xmas.  And chocolate.