It has been a really bad two weeks.  Thursday, June 28th, August my beloved Australian Shepherd was hit by a car and killed instantly.  The people that hit her only stopped to check on their car, not to see if my wonderful dog was on the side of the road suffering in pain.  I was unaware that fireworks were being let off when we put the dogs outside.  I started to fill their bowls with food and heard Mia barking as she usually does when outside and hears the food.  When I opened the door, my stomache sank as August wasn't right there with her scrambling to get inside to eat.  I began calling for her and when she didn't immediately return, I went inside to wake Shawn.  (while I was outside calling, the people were down the road surveying the damage to their car... had I known that she had just been hit, I don't know what I would've done to those people) He took the car and started calling for her down every road, while I stayed in the yard calling for her.  When I heard the brakes lock up and tires squealing, I knew what had happened.  I started crying immediatly and ran to the driveway.  It seemed like an eternity before he pulled back into the driveway.  When he got out he was crying and saying he was sorry.  I hit him, over and over and screamed no.  Then I lost it.  The rest of the night is a blur between retching sobs and total numbness.  I still haven't dealt with it.  If I try and think of the fact that she is actually gone, it makes me sick.  I'm not ready to dealt with it fully yet.  She was the perfect dog for me in every way.  She was tempermental (like me) and her mood could change from playful to attacking one of her playmates in a flash.  (me too except I attack with words) She would often mop around the house for no reason... (at least that I was aware) and I frequently do the same.  When I would come home, you could hear her barking at the backdoor.  When I'd open the door, she'd be wiggling her whole butt and be curved into a C she would get so excited.  She did the same thing to me the day I met her for the first time at the Humane Society.  (little did I know that was NOT how she greeted everyone... her normal greet was a bite to your calf but never with me) She was the best dog I ever had, she was the first dog I ever had and I will always grieve for her till the day I die.  You can't fully let go of grief when it's over someone so perfectly suited to you and you to them.  This was the first time she'd escaped from the yard in months.  She will forever be in my heart and I will forever be indebted to her for the love that she gave me.

Tags: August, June 28