Do you ever wonder how well you truly KNOW the people around you? I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. (probably because of the rather strange book I've been reading) My mom always used to tell me when I was little that it takes a long time to TRULY know someone but now that I'm older I don't think you ever really know a person. Sure, you can finish your husbands sentences, know exactly what he'll order before he knows and things like that but do you know what he thinks when he sees an attractive young woman walk down the street? Is it just a casual flicker of attraction or does he spend the day thinking about her? And I'm not just talking about the significant others in your life, you never really know your family either. Someone always hides a little piece of themselves. You may reveal parts of your psyche in front of friends that you wouldn't in front of relatives. While uncle Oscar thinks you're the sweetest kid around, you could actually be the worst influence in your group of friends. I feel if you think about this too in depth for too long, it would probably drive you crazy wondering if people weren't what they seemed. I lived with someone that wasn't ANYTHING like he said he was for most of my life. The people around him still thinks he's a great person, there are only a few that know the truth. I KNOW he's a pervert, smokes pot, snorts coke and god only knows what other drugs but to most people he looks like he could NEVER do any of those things, probably for the simple fact that he doesn't drink. That's just the things he does though, not the person he is. People can still be good deep down and do drugs, not my dad though. He is so sweet and charming to people that it can make me want to vomit or hit him because he turns around and either talks about how much he can't stand them (or their morals, he's the LAST person that should be lecturing anyone about morals) or he'll tell outlandish lies about them just so he can hear himself talk. He could probably talk his way into an operating room to preform heart surgery and it wouldn't be until the patient died on the table that the rest of the team would realize how full of shit he actually was. I think he's the reason it makes it so hard for me to take people at face value. It's also made me have almost like an extra sense about me though. I can see things about them that they don't reveal by speaking or even by their body language. I just KNOW things. Shawn can have me meet one of his friends from work and I can tell him RIGHT then whether or not he'll be friends with that person six months down the road. I can see through really thick bull shit I suppose. Even though I know what the outcome of most of his friendships will be, I still play nice and get along with them. No reason to make everyone's life hell until that day comes at least. He still probably won't admit that I'm always right about his friends. Then again, he's a man and he NEVER likes to admit when he's wrong about something. I wonder if our kids will learn to be the cynic that I am. In ways I hope they have some of it. I don't want them to be taken advantage of at every opportunity but at the same time it would be nice for them to be able to trust people without constantly second guessing that trust. I feel like I'm going to have to be very careful what I say for awhile until I realize what I'd like for my kids to hear and what I'd like them to be innocent to until they're at the very least, older. I spend most days wondering how I'm going to teach this boy the morals that I want him to have without cramming it all down his throat at once. It's best to teach them life long lessons while they're young but how far exactly should you go with that? Do I teach him to respect women at the same time I teach him not to pick on/make fun of people who are different than him? I'm sure I'm worrying too much about it but I'd rather worry too much and have him be taught SOME morals, rather than be like some parents and never think about it and have my kid grow up to be an idiot. Well, I've done enough in depth thinking for the night. I have to go juggle dogs now. It's a big ordeal to get the husky outside in the morning without her getting attacked. I have to lock August up in a room, put a leash around Takoda (the husky), keep all the other dogs away from the backdoor and convince her to walk out. Then let some of the dogs inside, and August out of where ever she's been stuck, cross my fingers and hope she doesn't attack anyone.
