Exhausted

Feeling: Exhausted

 

Between my daughter and the stresses of buying a house, I am completely drained.  Every night I can't wait for her to fall asleep, only to lie awake for hours before sleep finally comes.  During the day, I can fall asleep with no problems, of course.  At the end of the day, I feel as though I've been doing manual labor for hours.  When all I've actually done is chase my daughter from one end of the house to the other.  You see, my mom's house isn't exactly child friendly, therefore, I have to watch Jasmine constantly.  There's little room for a break.  She even takes a nap during the day that lasts between 2 and 3 hours but it never seems to be long enough.  I had no idea what stress can do to you physically until recently.  I know you're probably wondering how I had time to finish a full book in under 24 hours.  I read while she was in the bath, asleep or playing close enough to me that I didn't have to keep both eyes on her.  When I finally do fall asleep at the end of the day (usually when the sun is coming up or is already up) I don't want to get back up.  I really think I would sleep for 24 hours if I was allowed to.  I would kick myself for it when I woke up though.  It would be nice to have a pause button on life so that I could sleep for as long as I wanted for one day and unpause after only 8 hours of actual sleep.  I'm not looking forward to this next week.  I know what kind of hell we've been through all the other times with Jasmine's shots and I'm sure this one will be no different.  She turns into a total nightmare.  There's no telling when she'll be awake or asleep.  One minute she'll be happy and the next she'll be screaming like a banshee.  What's funny, is even if I was to get a break away from everything, I would miss my daughter so much that I would be more miserable than if I had just taken her with me.  Damned if you do, damned if you don't.