Another weekend gone by

Saturday, I got up early to take Doodle to an adoption event.  I originally wasn't planning on going to this one since this is the last weekend of my husband's vacation but I felt a little forced but not really a big deal.  I get to the event, fully planning on staying till it's over.  (I got there about two hours after it started and would've been there a minimum of two hours, probably closer to three)  I went to set my purse down and was told by the director to put Doodle in a cage that had just opened up due to an adoption.  As I was putting her in the cage she told me that she'd be taking Doodle and I could leave now.  It was said with some bit of contempt.  I was so shocked that I stayed for a few minutes, not really sure what to do.  After looking for Doodle's crate tag, and not finding it, I grabbed my purse without a word to anyone and left.  Right now I feel as if my time with this rescue is limited.  I've been feeling very ostracized for some time now and never really felt like I fit in.  That being said, I had made a decision to stick it out no matter what.  I still stick by that decision.  I think after my kittens are gone, they are going to tell me where to go however.  I have also made a decision over the last month to keep any personal issues, my own and not tell anyone at the rescue that we thought there was problems with the baby or anything else.  I just felt like it was none of their business.  However, it had caused me to miss quite a few events.  The most they know is that I'm pregnant and I had some morning sickness.  (I didn't even want to tell them I was pregnant yet, it was something I didn't tell a lot of people but felt I had to with them due the morning sickness)  I feel like because I have omitted those things, they think I am just lazy and not devoted to the organization the way the would like me to be.  Most of these people live for the rescue.  They seem to sit around, waiting for the phone to ring so they can run off and do some other rescue business.  I feel like my first priority is to my family and my daughter.  I also think they would like me to feel differently.  These are all people with no children, grown kids or almost grown.  I am the only one with small children that also does fostering.  I only know of one other that has young kids and I have never met her in the seven, almost eight months that I have been with this rescue.  I feel as if I am looked down upon by some of the elder members for my lack of devotion and it makes me uncomfortable to be around them.  I don't think I should have to justify every single thing I do or don't do. 

After that fiasco, we went to the Venetian Festival in St. Joseph, Michigan to watch the fireworks they have every year.  We sat in the cold mist and waited for the show to begin.  They have a boat parade before the fireworks but the mist was so thick, you could barely see the lights from the boats even though they were so close to shore that you could swim out and touch them.  Suddenly you heard the first whoosh of a firework, you heard the firework go off.... but you never saw a thing.  The mist was so thick that even the brightest of them only appeared to be colored lightning through the clouds.  They stopped after about a minute or so.  I felt badly for all the kids who wanted to see fireworks and didn't get to, my own included.  It's hard to explain to a three year old that the fog and mist were just too thick for the lights to be seen. 

And now we're to today.  *sigh*  I had been up for a while when I went into my husband's computer room to check on the rat and ferrets.  I noticed the rat was low on water and went to go pull it out of the cage.  I had just said jokingly, 'now don't bite me' and then of course, he bit me.  He let go when he realized it wasn't food he was biting but he had bitten so hard that it went well through my skin.  His teeth never touched but they came close.  My husband, as usual, was mad at the animal that did the biting.  I told him it was my fault.  Since the last bite, I have avoided interacting with this rat, aside from throwing the food in the cage and changing his water.  The rat that bit me the first time, has since died.  I still have lingering nerve damage from it.  My doctor said it could take a while to fully heal but at this point, I'm thinking there may be long term nerve damage.  It's nothing that limits range of motion or anything.  If I touch the bite, I get that just hit my funny bone feeling but in my finger.  And there seems to be a small, very small loss of sensation.  At any rate, I think it's understandable that I am a little nervous of getting bit like that again.  Although I believe it to be highly unlikely to ever happen again.  Today, I could tell immediately that the bite I received from Toby, was not a vicious one but he thought it was food.  If it had been vicious, he would've held on for dear life and separated the top two teeth in order to obtain a more painful, deeper bite.  He did neither.  Once I stopped bleeding, I went back, gave him his water and food.  He took his food very gently.  He didn't want to bite the wrong thing again.  And that's the end of my weekend.  ;)