Wednesday, October 24, 2007

To Be or Not to be

My husband and I are at that point where we have to decide when we want to have our next child.  I'm all for it as long as, someone else loses the pregnancy weight, and they get up in the middle of the night with the screaming blob that can't tell me what it wants.  I've gotten used to Jasmine.  If she wakes up in the middle of the night, she can say get me some fruit loops.  A baby on the other hand just screams till you feel like jumping through the window and running like hell.  Then I have to deal with Jasmine after the baby is born.  She doesn't like competition... of ANY kind.  If I pay too much attention to the puppy, she lets me know.  Then, how do I explain to her and prepare her for a baby?  How do I prepare MYSELF for another baby?  Jasmine sleeps with us at night... what do I do with another kid?  I was thinking a bassinet would be good for a while but even then, baby wakes up screaming, it wakes up Jasmine and then even if the baby goes back to sleep, Jasmine won't.  I try to tell myself if I envision every single issue, I'll just talk myself out of having another baby till she's in college.  (even though my husband says no more kids after 30... we'll see) We've got such a good thing with Jasmine, I don't want to ruin it.  This was one of the best summers I've ever had, if I have another baby, we won't be able to do things like this for another few years and then it'll be time to decide if we're having another one.  I've been tormenting myself with all these things and more for the last year or so.  And no matter how many people tell me, you just do it, things work out, blah blah blah, I still think yeah but they won't for me.  What if I have a hard time getting pregnant?  It's possible.  We still don't know what was causing all that pain and I just had an ob-gyn appointment on Monday and my doctor said my risk of problems is higher than someone who hadn't had pain and whose ultrasounds were clear.  It's a lot to think about and it never seems to become less.  I tell myself, you think you're stressed NOW, think about having ANOTHER kid to deal with.  It's just.. a lot.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

As you know, my children are all seven years apart, not by choice, but it was SO MUCH EASIER to have a six year old when I was pregnant and puking.  A six year old can make yu tea and make its own sandwiches and understand that you feel sick.

I think anyone who has children closer together than four year apart is really asking for a lot of work. Four year olds can be pretty independent, too.

You are so young, relax, sweetie. There is no rush.

Anonymous said...

I am not a good one to comment on this since I have never wanted children, the human kind anyway.  I am 44 and if, a big IF..we decided we wanted one I would still try and have one. I don't see that happening though but I know so many women are older now when they have kids.   I think you have plenty of time and I am sure if you were to get preggers after your husband turned 30 he would be fine with it.  Don't stress yourself out, we can talk ourselves out of anything over thinking.  :)
Lisa