This entry is dedicated to complaining

I went back through my journal entries to when I was pregnant with Jasmine.  I was trying to see if I had this dizziness issue then.  I did but not till five months.  It was so awful yesterday that eventually, I couldn't even have my eyes open at all.  I ended up falling asleep on my mom's couch for a little while.  Today I was awake on and off all day but wasn't awake more than an hour till six at night.  I did notice a theme with the earlier entries from the last pregnancy... I whined.. a LOT.  I'll try to cut that out a little with this one.  But it still sucks... a LOT.  ;) 

Tomorrow we're going to my mom's for a cookout.  I'm not completely sure if we're doing it for the sake of it or if we're more trying to get my uncle out of the house.  He's been quite depressed for the last six months or so.  (at least)  I've never seen him like this.  He has been opening up a lot to my husband.  My uncle is the type of guy that makes jokes about things and never really discusses how he feels.  For whatever reason, they have formed a bond.  If you knew how my uncle acted the first year with my husband, you'd understand my surprise.  He was openly mean but he didn't exactly make a point to be nice either.  He's always been protective of me.  It's hard to get him out of the house without making it obvious that we're trying to get him out of the house.  A cookout is a good cover.  I want to make a weekly or bi-weekly dinner at my mom's that he will come to with us.  His ex-wife isn't helping him at all.  She just makes everything worse because, let's face it, the world revolves around her.  We've noticed that she drives past our house at least once a day.  It's weird.

Monday we have a cookout at my husband's best friend's house.  I guess we're having steak but I really don't know.  I'll probably have a small sandwich before we leave just in case my stomach won't handle whatever we're eating. 

I broke the toilet tonight.  In my defense, it was already in the process of breaking.  I had noticed it was making an awful noise after you would flush it and mentioned it to my husband.  I don't think he even glanced at it.  Therefore, when it wouldn't stop running tonight, I decided to try and... fix it.  I knew it was the little floaty thing that was messed up but I couldn't figure out how to position it right to make it stop.  I don't think I could've done anything to fix it to be quite honest, it needed a new one.  At any rate, I snapped the bobble thing right off and then it was REALLY running.  Shit.  So, my quick fix was to take a popsicle stick and shove it in there so it would shut up.  Now after you flush, you have to remove the stick and then once the bowl is full, you have to replace the stick.  Husband didn't look amused when I explained the situation to him.  He should know by now that if he doesn't fix it or at least try to, that I will make an attempt to break it further.  It's just one thing after another with this house though.  Two weeks ago, the shower door broke off.  Now you have to be extremely careful with it in order not to have it fall on your head.  The water has leaked out of the shower for quite some time because the caulking came off in one spot.  Thus, the wall on the one side needs to be replaced due to water damage.  (for once I'm glad my grandma got a little too happy with the 70's paneling) The linoleum in the back room MUST be replaced.  Well, there's not much left of it now.  The dogs found a "weak" spot and tore it all to hell.  The kitchen floor needs to be replaced before we sell.  (which I REALLY hope is possible next summer)  There is no wall in the computer room because I tore all the paneling off the first year we lived here since I hate paneling.  Guess what is the only thing we can afford to put back up in that room?  Yep, paneling.  I should've just painted it.  The living room floor looks like hell but I have no plans to replace it.  I plan on putting a rug in the living room and leaving it at that.  (it's the fake wood flooring and my grandparents didn't really know what they were doing)  I'll be pulling up the carpet in our bedroom before the baby is born.  This carpet has been here at LEAST since the early 70's.  It can't be healthy for anyone to be crawling around on.  Plus, it's a gawd awful green color.  Underneath of it is gawd awful green tiles.  My plan is to get some carpet eventually and install it ourselves.  My husband would like to re floor the living room and the bedroom with laminate flooring.  My husband seems to have forgotten our very fixed income.  The list of things I want to do before we put it up is endless.  And it makes me feel panicky every time I think about it.  I hate being an adult.