My Depressed Entries 3

Because if they do, they have a really shitty way of showing it.  Most of the time their "comforting" just makes me feel worse.  "Comforting" is lecturing and trying to tell me how I should be and what I should do.  Don't you think I know what I need to do?!?!  I know all the things I should do, I just don't know how to make myself go out and do it.  I definitely don't say that anymore though.  I get told, just do it.  Ok, yeah it may be that easy for you but it's not for me.  I have major mental problems.  Easy things for "normal" people are hard as hell for me.  I really need a shrink.  Too bad I can't afford one, because I don't have a job.  My doctor (regular physician) has tried to help me find "cheap" shrinks but we dissagree as to where I should go.  He usually gives me a list of religious places that consel at low cost or for free.  Yeah, well, me and religion, we have a little problem.  I don't believe in religion, god or anything relating to it.  *Gasp* I know, you all think I'm going to hell.  But if that's the case, then there's probably a lot of nice people in hell that went there just because they didn't believe in "god."  I'll take my chances thank you.  The religious people tell me to find god and I'll find what's missing in me and fill the void.  Sorry, that's not going to happen.  I'm one of those people that belives in science.  Not what some guys wrote 1000 odd years ago.  Now, that's not to say I hate religious people.  Most of my friends go to church and we have many debates on what's right and what's wrong, etc., etc.  Well, I think I've made this entry quite long enough.  I'm guaranteed to go over the 2500 character limit with this one.  Sorry for the whining bithcing and moaning.  I've got to talk to someone, even if it's just to the computer.