Ever been sleepy but not in the *mood* to sleep? I don't know why I do this every so often. I get to reading these medical blogs by doctors and nurses and it's like I can't stop. I find just about anything to do with medicine (animal or human), crazy people (not crazy stupid but crazy *crazy*) and babies to be fascinating. I wonder if I've always been this way or if this has just been in the last few years? It's hard to remember anything b.c. (before child *wink*) The months before I got pregnant with Jasmine I was working for a fairly well known vet practice in the area as an assistant. I loved what I was doing and would talk endlessly about the *neat* things I saw that day. (neat being a dog with his chest split wide open during surgery and finding a tumor along side his spine that could be removed without further injury... all the while I was eating Arby's... I was NOT in the surgery room, I was watching from a window) I'm sure some of my stories left those closest to me with a weak stomach but I really find it fascinating. On one side though I feel awful that this dog or this cat is probably dying but I feel privileged to see this case. I was frequently the reaper for any animals that the owner didn't not want to be with during euthanasia. My co-workers saw this as uncompassionate on my end but it was in all honesty the exact opposite. I wanted to be with them because I truly cared how they left this world. I would pet them and tell them they are a good dog and they can let go now. I was gentle about passing the fluid through the cath to make it as painless as possible and then I would sit with them, petting them till I was absolutely sure there was no life left. So am I uncompassionate? Am I an unfeeling bitch? I don't think so, nor did I then. This and many more reasons were what caused me to leave for lunch one day and never return. I loved what I did but I really disliked the people I worked with. I can't wait to get back to it. There are plenty of times when I consider going to the local animal ER that is open from 7pm to 7am. I wouldn't lose any time with my daughter but it would be a hard transition for my husband. (Jasmine goes to sleep around 3am... my husband gets up at 3:30am... someone would have to change and it wouldn't be him) Right now I'm just trying to stay in rescue so that my resume has something on it. Plus, I can work closely with the vets in my area and hope to secure a job at their practice for when my kids are all in school. (as soon as the last one hits kindergarten, I'm applying for jobs) I hate doing nothing all day. I want to LEARN something. I watch TLC, discovery, animal planet, bio, and many other channels like they're crack because I can learn something. I'm always on the lookout for outdated college textbooks that are being given away or thrown away because I can read and learn something. And to think when I was in high school, I did everything in my power to avoid learning. Karma huh? I love staying at home with my daughter and watching her grow up but damn my brain is intellectually bored as hell. Sometimes I feel like the only thing going on in there is that multi-colored lined screen that comes up on the TV (ok so back in the day we saw this more often) when there's nothing available for that time slot, add high pitched annoying sound and you're in my brain.
Tomorrow my hubby is having a date night with Jasmine. They are going to see *snicker* *giggle* *snort* My little Pony in theatre. I'm talking the full out people in pony costumes dancing on stage. I really thought he was joking when he asked me a week ago if I wanted to take her and my response was 'I'd rather scratch my own eyeballs out with a spoon.' Who knew he actually meant it. So yes, they will be going on a little date. I am a little jealous that I won't get to see all her cute facial expressions. I told him he has to memorize every one of them and then reenact it for me when they get home. If you saw my husband walking into the My Little Pony show with a two year old little girl, you would either go awww or giggle/snort/snicker. I said I wonder if you'll be the only dad there? I wish they were allowed to take cameras. I don't want pictures of the show, I want pictures of my kid but I'm sure the other patrons would not appreciate a flash going off in their face every few minutes with my husband saying 'Sorry, my wife would rather scratch out her own eyeballs than be here so I'm taking pictures for her.'
4 comments:
Can you email me some of the medical blog sites? I love those type too!
Thanks,
Lori
I couldn't imagine NOT being with my pet during their last minutes alive...that's when they need you.
Russ
I was always with my animals if they had to be euthunized because of some illness that was killing them and they were in pain and suffering. It is hard, to watch them slip away...but I was glad I was there for them, every one, to do just what you said, to be there, to tell them its okay, that they were a good dog or cat. I havent been sleeping too well myself. I went for a long time waking up at 3 am and not being able to go back to sleep, then it let go of me for a while, but now it is back again. Maybe it is because Spring is around the corner and I am anxious for it to get here. Hope you get some rest though. Hugs, Kelly
Hi Jamie,
It sounds like you were doing the tough job nobody else wanted to do ... and you were doing it with compassion. If your former co-workers had an ounce of compassion, themselves, they would have appreciated what you were doing and shown you more respect.
Best,
Marty
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