Buzz, buzz

Tonight I went out to take care of what I am now calling the prison cats.  ;)  (the two that live in the enclosure outside due to bathroom issues in the house)  I hate doing it at night but we didn't get back till it was already dark.  I put it off as long as possible.  I have to take a giant sized flashlight out with  me that a police officer would see as a weapon.  Out I go, dogs running laps around me, presumably trying to kill me by forcing me to trip into one of the large holes they have dug, (they're huntin' moles) where they will quickly bury me alive.  I get to the cats and it always takes me some time to get up enough courage to walk into the house.  The outside is safe enough, only a few bugs roaming the fence.  The inside however... *shudders* it is a horror movie in the making.  It's never been this bad, even when we first moved in.  Now, on a normal day, I have no problem with spiders.  I've been known to pick them up with my bare hands and carry them outdoors to safety.  (usually some human is threatening a good smooshing)  Tonight was even worse than usual however.  Freakin' terrifying.  The spiders that are out there right now are giants.  And there are hundreds of them.  Hanging from the walls, the ceiling, the door, everywhere.  After, oh, ten minutes of standing at the entrance and having the satan cat (Jake, orange tabby, turns immediately evil when brought in the house) running in and out as if to say 'Dude, wtf, it's easy.'  I start to make my way inside when something catches my eye on the ceiling.  It's a nest, two actually but nothing guards the second, smaller one.  Nope, definitely NOT going in there now.  You both look fat, you can go, what?  Three days without food?  I get angry meows in reply.  Shit.  The nest was made by yellow jackets.  Yellow jackets can sting repeatedly without losing their stinger, without dying.  I however, don't know how many stings it would take to put me into shock.  One sting is going to hurt like hell and swell to cartoonish proportions, more than that, who knows.  They can also be fiercely defensive of their nests.  Considering it was night and a bit cool out, it's unlikely that they would've even moved but I wasn't betting my life on it.  Fine, I won't let you starve but I'm still not going in there.  I went in the house, grabbed a small plastic container, filled it with indoor cat food and as an apology, a can of fancy feast.  I was quickly forgiven.  I haven't decided what to do about the yellow jackets.  My initial thought was to buy a bug bomb and kill everything in there.  I really don't like killing anything but these guys aren't leaving till the ground freezes.  Even more so, I don't want to be forced to kill innocent bystanders.  (the gawd awful spiders)  Spraying them with water would get rid of them but it would also soak the inside of the shed, along with the straw bales.  It would ruin the straw.  Maybe I'll have my husband spray them with the stuff we used on the bees last year.  (something I never would've done if they hadn't been mean and living in my siding)  One thing is certain, they have to go.  I have no choice but to go in and out of that building.  I just really hate killing things.  Why couldn't they have made their nest on the outside of the damned shed. 

We also must have super spiders living by the house.  I've been aware of the large females that have been making their webs here and there but the biggest thing they've caught is a moth or two.  Whenever I go out at night to take care of the cats, I shine the flashlight up at the (other) yellow jackets nest above the backdoor.  (they're up high and have posed absolutely no threat to us)  There in front of their nest is a huge spider web and in it is a carpenter bee, a BIG one.  The bee had to have been on death's door to get stuck in a web.  I mean really, these things sound like helicopters when they fly past your head, no way a web is going to hold one.  I'm curious to know where they are living, my house or my neighbors.  They have to be close if I've seen so many this year.  This past week I was excited to see not one but two honey bees in the flowers.  Due to the illness that is killing off the honey bee hives, I've only seen a few total this entire summer so to see two in one day was great.  Now if they were living in the shed, no way would I kill them.  They're not as aggressive and they are having trouble as a species just surviving day to day.  For me, it would be like killing an endangered animal, I just can't.  I'm still trying to think of a way not to kill the damned yellow jackets.