Baby when?

Right now I'm rather confused.  I don't know what I want or whether what I want is right or wrong.  It's hard for me to explain, since I can't figure it out myself.  A little less than a month ago, I thought I was pregnant.  Now before this happened, I wasn't so sure I wanted kids.  I kept thinking how dirty they are, and sticky and time consuming, etc., etc.  Basically, I was thinking of all the bad things.  But after I had realized I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't sure what I wanted.  Now, there's a part of me that actually wishes I had been pregnant and wants to get pregnant.  But then there's the practical part of me saying that me and DH can't possibly do this NOW.  We're not finacially stable, we still live with my mother and there's many other factors telling me that this is not a good idea but this little part of my brain just doesn't care about all those issues.  Am I completely crazy or what?  Of course, I still need to talk to DH about all these things.  I just thought I'd feel differently in the morning but there have been many mornings and I haven't felt differently yet.  I talked to my mom a little bit about it but I guess she doesn't have a whole lot of advice to give at 3 o'clock in the morning.  I used to worry about putting on weight and getting fat while pregnant and how unattractive it all is and now when I think of those things, I think how wonderful it is.  What the hell is wrong with me?  How do people know when they're ready for this type of commitment?  How long till this feeling goes away?  Because I don't know how much longer I can deal with it before I give into it.  I was so sure I was pregnant and I started looking forward to it, imagining the baby and just everything that would happen afterwards.  I almost feel like something was taken away from me when I didn't have it in the first place.  I know I'm not ready for this so again, what the hell is wrong with me?  I'm going to bed, once again, hoping I'll feel differently in the morning.