I'm not having such a good day today. I've been rather lost the last couple of weeks. Not really knowing where I'm going in life and how long it's going to take me to get there. I really want to be a vet assistant or vet tech. I have a lot of knowledge in animals, obviously but haven't had to motivation to put in applications. I'm not sure if I'm afraid they'll say no or if I'm actually afraid they'll say yes. I'd have to grow up and take responsibility for my life then. I just really don't know what I want. Some days, I'd like to just take the car and drive. Just to get the hell out of here. Next month I'll probably be going to Ohio for the Equine show with my mom. I don't like horses but it'll be nice to get out of here. I like to look at horses, just not be around them or ride them is what I should've said. I've been having problems sleeping for years and stupid me, I didn't realize until just a few nights ago, that it's because I'm worrying about things that happened years ago. When I lay down to sleep, I think about the same shit, over and over again. Things I can't change. I'm going to take a washable marker and start writing these things down on the wall next to my bed. That way, I can remember it later and not have to get up to find a piece of paper or anything else. At night, I'll get all this motivation up, to actually go out and do something with my life and by the time I wake up in the morning, it's gone. I wake up, feeling like doing nothing. I honestly don't mean for this to be so depressing. I'm hoping, by writing it all down, I'll start to feel better.
Today, it was a mix of sleet, rain and snow. All day long. The dogs had to stay outside part of the day. (they're not allowed inside if no one is here... they become bad dogs then) So, everyone came in muddy and soaking wet. And of course, they don't shake outside, they wait until they're all standing right in front of you. I swear, they do it on purpose.
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