Tuesday, December 27, 2005
They say it's your birthday
One is born and another leaves
On a day where one family can be so utterly happy, another can just as easily be totally destroyed. That was the case on the 26th of December. Don and Channon had a perfect baby boy. (named Trent) My neighbor just a few doors down, shot himself in the head and killed himself just after midnight. He and his wife had recently seperated and his 19 year old daughter had moved out of the house not long before. He left a note apologizing but that won't help his family much during this time. Even worse, he is my next door neighbors stepbrother. The same neighbor whose son killed himself almost eight years ago. It's terrible that his daughter will have that tragedy to remember every year on Christmas. It may have been the day after but the exact day will never matter to his family. How do you ever celebrate Christmas and family again with that hanging over your head. It's hard to believe I'll never see him driving down the road dragging some junk car behind him for scrap parts, never have him stop by the house to ask if we needed any help hauling something away. I can only hope that his daughter finds some way to overcome what suicide does to a person. I once heard that a person who kills themselves dies one death but the family left behind dies a thousand deaths. Anyone a product of suicide knows exactly how true that is. Every time a friend or family member seems abnormally distressed or upset about something you will automatically fear that suicide is on that persons mind. I don't know if I'll ever feel normally about human emotions ever again. How can you after being a part of something so terrible. At least with murder you can hate someone, blame someone, punish someone. How do you punish, hate and blame someone who was so depressed they felt the only way out was to die? Especially when you loved that someone, when that someone is family.
To make matters worse, a 16 year old girl was the person to find him dead. He used a large caliber gun to kill himself with and the girl immediately started screaming. Her father found her. They had went to the house because his wife had sensed something was wrong when she couldn't get into the house and called on the neighbor to help. Not only did they lose a friend but they will never get that imagine out of their minds. You can never get over something like that.
Monday, December 26, 2005
A baby is born
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Jasmine's Christmas Pictures
Monday, December 12, 2005
Nothing Better in my eyes
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Me time
I can once again contact the online world of journaling. How did I fix my problem? I didn't. I just waited a few days and tried to post again. Hey, I never claimed to be a computer wiz.
I am being smothered by two people right now, my husband and Jasmine. Ok, Jasmine can't help it, she depends on me for everything but Shawn is clinging to me. The only "me" time I get is a once a week trip to the store and an occasional shower... which usually involves Jasmine sitting in her bouncer outside the shower. Tonight is the first time in a week that I've had the privilege to shower alone. Hallelujah! I think I could scream.
Tomorrow we're supposed to go get Jasmine's Christmas pictures taken. She's got a cute little santa outfit. (I know very unoriginal but it was sooooo cute)
Hopefully I will have a laptop computer after tax returns. The only time I have a chance to get online is late at night but the only time the computer is unavailable is... you guessed it, late at night. I could get online from any place any time. I'm currently looking at some HP's. Any one have any laptops that you think are absolutely wonderful? Let me know if they're better than the HP's.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Am I the only who has noticed that AOL journals is running really slowly with the banners they've added or is it just because I'm still in the dial up stonage of the internet?
Not a whole lot new. A few weeks ago I dyed my hair red. Not red as in I look like I-was-born-with-this-hair-color red but red a
Not a whole lot new. A few weeks ago I dyed my hair red. Not red as in I look like I-was-born-with-this-hair-color red but red as in I just melted-a-crayon-on-my-head. Yes, it was on purpose. It was supposed to wash out in 8-10 washes.
Three weeks later I still had a pinkish red tink to my hair so I decided to try and dye it a dark blonde. I ended up dying the red in permanently. I went to have my hair cut the next day and ask how they could fix it and was told I had to wait a month. I have to buy deep conditioning treatments to try and fix the damage to my hair before they can do anymore dye.
Then they can only dye as light as a medium brown with highlights, which will cost me 80 bucks just for the dye. Maybe someday I'll learn to leave my hair to professionals.
Jasmine has gotten really good at rolling over. She's also making a lot of razzing sounds with her mouth. As soon as she figured out how to do it, it's been nonstop.
To update, quickly, my dad didn't allow smoking at his house the day we were over there so there wasn't a big tado like I was expecting.
As soon as I get time, I'm going to post some pictures that have been taken in the last few weeks. It just takes so long when you have dial up to upload them online especially since AOL is so slow when it comes to pictures.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Urgh.. Me Jamie... Me Mad
Tomorrow I am supposed to go to my dad's house because my grandma is in town. (she lives around 400 miles away) I called him tonight at work just to double check that they'll all be there. He's supposed to be having people over tomorrow as well as me, Shawn and the baby. His wife and my grandma both smoke but they go outside when we're there because I do not allow smoking around Jasmine. I told my dad before that if they were going to smoke, then we just wouldn't come over. He said to me tonight that four or five of the people that are coming over are smokers and he was "wondering" about that. I said what's there to wonder about and he said that he knows I don't like smoking around the baby and was wondering if that would be a problem and I asked him Can't they smoke outside. His response was well I don't know how cold it's going to be outside. He suddenly had to get off the phone then. I've made it crystal clear to him that I will not have any smoke around Jasmine. Period. If they smoke in the house tomorrow, I will leave. I realize that it's his house but I don't see why it's such an inconvience to pollute their lungs outside, instead of ours inside. If I was at a friend's house, I wouldn't expect them to smoke outside but it's my dad's house and he knows that if he wants to see his granddaugther, then those are the rules. I'm just really mad right now. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
Me and Shawn went to see Saw 2. It was just as good as the first one. Maybe a little more gory. That movie really isn't scary, it's just gross. There's supposed to be a movie coming out soon called Hostel and it's based on true events. From what I gathered in this movie people pay to torture and kill other people. People who have been kidnapped. That movie might scare me because it's based on true events. Texas Chainsaw Mascre scared me for the same reason.
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
Busy week
It's been a busy week which would explain the lack of entries. Last Wednesday I found out that my best friend from the air force was home for a few days. He came over on Thursday with his little girl. She is just too cute. Having her here made me realize that I REALLY do want more kids. She was wonderful with Jasmine. (Her name is Madyson) I've never seen a child that young be so gentle with an infant. She's only about a year and a half herself. I could've spent all day playing with her. And of course I enjoyed having Jimmie here too. The little ones took up most of the time though since we haven't seen eachother since Maddie was only four months old. What's nice about me and Jimmie is that no matter how much time passes, no matter how long it's been since the last time we talked, it's always like we're just leaving off where we were the last time he was home. It's not awkward like it would be with most friends you haven't spoken to. We don't have to search for a conversation. Of course, now we have two little kids to talk about. =)
On Saturday I went to the Niles Haunted House. That was fun, although a lot of the things they had were similar to last year. Me and Shawn are talking about going to Chicago next year and finding a haunted house up there. Our friends know a couple of places, we all just have to find babysitters for that day. After the haunted house we went to see Doom. I thought it was going to be cheesy but it wasn't that bad. I didn't spend the entire movie wishing it was over and I'll be willing to rent it when it comes out on dvd.
Saturday me and Shawn went to central Indiana to visit family. I took Jasmine for her first horseback ride. (I was with her of course) She seemed to enjoy it as much as a four month old can. My aunt Jeri got her a rocking horse from a lady at work. Jasmine loves it and seems to know exactly where she's supposed to hold on. I have to hold her on it since she's not really big enough for it yet. We ate and sat around and talked and looked at pictures the rest of the time we were there. I took three rolls of film which I'll put on here as soon as I get time.
Sunday me, Shawn and Jasmine went to Jimmie's mom's house to visit with them for a little while before they left for Texas on Monday. I took almost a whole roll of film on Maddie. (which I'll also post so everyone can see how adorable she is) We stayed until I had to get back home, around 8pm. It always seems like everyone is postponing the last goodbye before he leaves. It's like tearing off a really tough bandaid. You don't want to do it but you know it can't stay there forever.
Tuesday we went to my grandma's house to see how she's holding up. She seems more depressed everytime I see her. I just don't know what to do to help her besides visiting often.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
"Those" people
Jasmine is rolling over all the time now. The second I set her down on her back, she turns over onto her stomach. She had a doctor's appointment last Friday where she got a couple of shots. On Saturday I woke up to realize that she had slept through the night without waking up to eat. I reached over and felt her head and she was burning up. I gave her a bottle and took her temperature, which was 102. When I called the doctor's office they said it was normal and could last a day or two. I said ok and hung up. What I really wanted to do was scream at the nurse telling her that this is NOT normal to me and that I'm bringing my baby in right this minute. But I held my tongue and spent the next two days miserable. The fever broke towards late Saturday night but she continued to be fussy and extremely sleepy till Monday. She has to go back in December for a booster of that shot. I want to skip it. At least it's on a Thursday so if anything happens over night, I can take her to the doctor on Friday.
Last night that damned parakeet got loose... again. He hadn't escaped in a long time, almost a year now. I was feeding them when I heard wings above my head. I didn't even need to look to know who it was. I spent the next ten minutes trying to catch him. He's now safe and sound in his cage and I'll remember it the next time I feed him. The first few times he escaped it was funny. Haha, Gollum's out again. (yes the little monster from the Lord Of The Rings and the name fits him quite well) But last night I was not in the mood. After I finally getting the baby to sleep, all I wanted to do was feed them and go to bed. Instead I was running around the room looking like a crazy person. And of course that room doesn't have curtains so now the neighbors don't have to speculate, the KNOW that the people in "that" house have issues.
I recently became aware of some problems at the rescue. (where I'm hoping to start back up volunteering as soon as our cars are both working at the same time) Last year they got two new volunteers. It was a husband and wife. I knew from the second I met them that they were trouble and I would NEVER leave anything of mine unattended while they were there. I refered to them as the white trash people. And I think white trash would probably take offense to that. I usually try not to judge people upon first meeting them but I had a feeling about these two from the beginning. Most people I meet at the rescue I initially meet I have a general liking towards just because they made the effort to help the animals, even if they're only there once, at least they did something. After these two had been volunteering at the rescue for a while and everyone (aside from myself) was comfortable with them, they started stealing. One of the girls who own the rescue had gotten badly bitten by a horse and needed to be on pain killers. Which turned up missing. I'm not sure how they found out that it was those two that had stolen them but they did and told them to leave the rescue at once. They thought that would be the end of it. The husband and wife then started their own rescue but were using OUR contracts and name. The rescue was unaware of this completely. Apparently they adopted out a dog to someone, only to take it back without repaying the money to the adopters. The animal control was alerted and they called our rescue. (thankfully animal control is familar with us and knows that we wouldn't do something like that) The rescue again told the husband and wife that they were no longer apart of our rescue and that they need to stop using the contracts immediately, along with the rescue name. They proceded to tell the girl that she was going to "get them." She began calling EVERYONE official that she could to try and get our rescue into trouble and eventually she succeeded. The county knows what animals are kept on the property but for whatever reason they are now giving the rescue until November 7th to remove all livestock unless we can get a special use permit which they will be applying for. They're going to be taking letters in from people in the area stating why they believe that the rescue should be granted the permit. I just hope they get it, otherwise there will be a lot of horses and other livestock that end up dying which we could've saved. Hopefully those people will eventually get what they deserve through fate or what have you.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Baby Steps
I really haven't had much to write lately. I had a cold last week and spent as much time washing my hands as sneezing to prevent Jasmine from getting it. She started on cereal the day before yesterday. She acts like she's always been eating and makes very little in the way of messes. She's able to roll over... and over and over now. The past two nights she's slept in her crib, not all night but it's a start. The first night was for five hours and last night for three. She'd probably sleep there longer but I'm not exactly agreeable to that when I've just been woken up so I just put her next to me and feed her till she goes back to sleep. She has a doctor's appointment on Friday for more shots. Well, I'm off to find something to eat. I'll try to keep up on writing. I just haven't much felt like it lately.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Grandpa
On Tuesday of last week, we received a call from the hospital. It was my grandma and she was uncharacteristically crying. She said we needed to get there immediately because my grandpa wasn't doing well. I called my uncle and we left. I didn't feel like we could get there fast enough. It's a good thing I wasn't driving or we would have surely gotten pulled over. When we got there we went straight to the ER and his room. It was worse than I could have even imagined. He was gasping for breath and his eyes were rolling into his head. I felt like the nurses weren't doing enough. I felt like it should have been more frantic. More doctors. The doctor took my mom and grandma into the hallway and told them he had pneumonia and probably only had a few hours left. They then took him upstairs to the oncology ward. I asked the nurse why they couldn't just take the fluid from his lungs and she said he was producing it faster than they could remove it. They gave him a drug to try and drain the fluid from his lungs to his kidneys. Within three hours, his breathing slowed. My mom, grandma, Shawn, Jasmine and myself were all with him when he took his last breath. I don't wish that on anyone. Looking back it seems like an awful dream. It's a dream I won't ever be able to forget.
This last week there hasn't been much time to think about my grandfather's passing. There have been arrangements to be made, flowers to be ordered and then of course the viewing and funeral. Now I feel like I'm just walking around in a daze. I try not to think about anything at all. I can't deal with it all yet. It's just too painful. I've been torturing myself nightly with Johnny Cash cd's. (grandpa loved the man in black) I don't know if it's very healthy or not. Doesn't really make a difference because I would still listen to it even if it wasn't. Grief is a funny thing. I lay in bed and sob so hard that I feel like my lungs will bruise and yet I never feel any better. I think maybe if I cry a little longer or a little harder the pain might not be so close. That's never the case though. The more I cry the worse I feel. I end up feeling sadder than I had started out feeling and tired. It's not good to not cry at all though. I just haven't found a balance yet. My aunt Jeri told me that grief has no time line. It doesn't get better and stay that way. It sneaks up on you six months later and you go through it all over again as if it had all happened just days ago. You never really get over the death of someone you loved. It's a never ending process.
It's hard to tell how my grandma is actually doing. She's very cryptic and hides her emotions. You have to pay very close attention to her to know what she feels. We've been spending a great deal of time with her and will continue to for as long as needed. Now I know that if she was doing fine living in that house alone, she would tell us we don't need to come over so often, that she's ok. But she doesn't say that so I know she's not. I don't expect her to be. Her kids are the same way, except for my mom. The only way I know how my uncles are doing is by asking their wives. If you ask them they say they're fine or make a joke. That's how most of my family is but you know they're not.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
Cirque and Stomp
April
Sunday, September 4, 2005
The Weekend
Saturday, August 27, 2005
More Tattoo's
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
My famous kitty
I'm so excited. One of the pictures I took of my cat might be in the newspaper in a few weeks. I got an email back from the editor today wanting to know where we are located. If it happens I'll post the article on my journal. It's not like I get paid for it or anything but it would still be really cool.
Jasmine has been sleeping about 7 hours a night now, straight through. Unfortunately, I'm unable to sleep for a few hours after she falls asleep. It won't be long till I'll be taking naps during the day with her.
We'll be taking my mom out on her birthday. I can't post for what just yet because she reads my journal. Wouldn't want to let the cat out of the bag just yet. I just hope she's up for it after getting tattoo'd on Friday as well.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Another week gone by
I found out today that my grandpa has cancer, again. It's a different kind of cancer than the lung cancer he had before. My knowledge of it is something like this, when you body produces too much plasma in the bones, the plasma starts to build up, causing a mass (cancer). It sounds like a rarer form of cancer than most. We're not sure exactly what the doctors have told them yet as my grandparents don't ask many questions of the doctors. The cancer is called mutiple myeloma.
I've been spending more time at doctor's offices than I would like to right now. Shawn started having some pain last week and went to the doctor. They sent him in for an ultrasound on Friday but haven't really found anything that should be causing pain. If it doesn't go away they're going to send him to a specialist. The only thing they found on the ultrasound is a varicocele which is a varicose vein in the boy parts. It could eventually cause infertility but I've read a lot of promising things about procedures they can do if that happens. I'm not really worried but he still seems a little freaked out. I go to the doctor on Thursday of this week for mutiple things, my asthma has gotten awful, (I use my inhaler several times a day) I've been having spots in my peripheral vision and I've also got a strange rash on my upper back that's been there for a little more than 4 weeks.
The other night I went and got my tongue pierced. It was extremely painful and I removed it within a few hours. It was a waste of 40 bucks but I couldn't deal with the pain any longer. This weekend I'm going with my mom and Shawn and we're all getting tattoo's and I'm also getting my belly button repierced. Eventually I want to have it pierced all the way through the bottom but my piercer hasn't decided if it's possible yet. He's worried that it will tear the piercing out if there's too much pulling on the barbell.
The party went well last weekend. We had a decent amount of people show up but no one stayed real late. A group of us sat outside till around 3am and then me and Shawn sat outside and talked till 6am. I was a little intoxicated and just kept talking.
Jasmine has been pretty good this last week. The past three nights she has slept for seven hours before waking up for a bottle. She was up most of the day today and screamed for a bit before she was able to fall asleep. She giggled for the first time the other day. She only does it for my mom though. No matter what anyone else does, she won't laugh for us. Well, I've got some more things I'd like to do before I go to bed. I'll try to write again soon. I mean to everyday and then the day slips away from me.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Another long night
It's been a rough night so far. I'm getting a small break while she sits in her bouncer. She's been colicky for almost 5 hours. It's the longest episode so far. I'm hoping it's a sign that it can only get better? Even the dogs are starting to give her dirty looks and frustrated sighs. I've been relatively calm. I realize that she's in pain and this is the only way she can express it. You can't help but want to at least pull your own hair out occasionally though.
I got my fairy tattoo on Friday. I wasn't expecting on going for another two weeks or so but Shawn called and told me to get ready. It definitely doesn't tickle getting stuck with a needle over and over again. It looks really great though. And he even improved upon my original picture. I'll have photos of it online as soon as I get them developed. I'm going back in two weeks to get another one. I'm getting Jasmine's name in the middle of a hibiscus flower. I'm having the guy design it for me since he did such a good job with the last one. He was really nice and made me feel very comfortable. It doesn't hurt that he's worked with a few really well known guys who tattoo. One of which was considered number one in the world two years in a row. Their website is under a bit of construction right now but you can have a look around if you'd like. It's www.pointblanktat2.com To see tattoo's that the guy's have done you have to click on the artist link... Half Pint is the guy that did my tattoo. (yes that's his real name, he's native american) I really couldn't have been happier with my tattoo. I've been reccomending him to everyone who asks about it. When my brother goes to get his tattoo, he's going to Half Pint. I don't think he would've if he hadn't seen how great mine looks because the prices can get a little steep but you get what you pay for. Well, I'd better get back to it. She's got a doctor's appointment on Wednesday where she'll be given some shots so I won't get any rest before our cookout on Saturday. Unless by some miracle they make her sleepy and not fussy.
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
A small victory
Shhhhhhh. I FINALLY got Jasmine to fall asleep on her own in her bassinet! I have to make sure the pacifier stays in her mouth but it's worth it. She has yet to fall asleep in her crib and when I put her in it already asleep, she rarely stays that way. The longest she's slept in it is 3 hours. I know I shouldn't but I'm tiptoeing through the house. Had she fallen sleep with her dad or in her swing I would carry on as normal but for her to sleep in the bassinet is a miracle in itself. I know within an hour she'll be awake again though. We have to make very tiny steps forward with her sleeping habits. Everynight she still sleeps with either myself or Shawn. Part of me will welcome the day when she sleeps in her crib on her own and the other part of me wants to prolong it for my own selfish reasons. I like waking up BEFORE she's screaming for a bottle, I like being able to look over and know that she's still breathing without having to walk across the house. I don't like sleeping in uncomfortable positions and I miss my bed. I'm already worried about her using a pacifier. I'm seeing a year from now the fight I'll have to go through to get it away from her and the tantrums I'm sure she'll throw night after night.
Shawn got her name tattooed on his arm under where my name is on Saturday. I thought it would be interesting to watch it get done but it was just really boring. I'm glad I'll have more people with me when I get mine done because I'll have someone to talk to since mine will take so much longer than Shawn's did.
We've got some sick cats right now. One has an upper respiratory infection and I'm not sure what's wrong with the other cat. (Libby has the infection and Mink I'm not sure about) Mink has been losing weight over the past few weeks which I think is because she wasn't able to get to the cat food anymore. She's covered in fleas and it doesn't seem to matter what I do to get rid of them. I've done the same things to her that I did for the other cats and her fleas remain while the others haven't. She's also laying down when she has to pee and then she cries while she's doing it like it's painful. I'm worried that it's the beginningof kidney failure. Both cats are on antibiotics and I'm hoping that both problems clear up with that and canned food.
My mom came home today and told me that one of her friends is pregnant again. This will be her third pregnancy. The first two ended with miscarriage. I really hope this one makes it. I don't know if she can take another miscarriage. She's said several times that she won't try again if she miscarries again. She gives herself several shots of heprin a day to thin her blood. (her body overclots and when she would get pregnant, she would get blood clots in her placents, cutting off the life supply to the fetus) If she carries to term, whether she has a boy or a girl, I'll have plenty of clothes to give to her.
Well, I'd better start on dinner and tiptoe into the other room to see if she's actually still sleeping or staring at the ceiling.
Monday, August 1, 2005
Phone's were out
I haven't been online for a while because our phone lines got all messed up from one of the storms we had. It took them SEVERAL days to fix it. During that time, my grandpa went back into the hospital for kidney failure. He was there for a week or so before they felt he was well enough to be released. They did tons of tests and we never found out why. It seems that generation doesn't think to ask why they're giving them shots and xrays. He says they xrayed every joint in his body, did a endoscopy and another test to check something they found in his spine. He's home now. I'm hoping to go over there this afternoon if Shawn gets home at a decent time.
Jasmine gets bigger every hour it seems. She's still staying up till all hours of the night. I never had a problem staying up all night till I had a baby and then I'm sitting there begging her to fall asleep already.
Me and Shawn will be having a cookout the middle of August. It's gotten pretty expensive. What originally was supposed to be family only has become a big to do and bonfire. Hopefully it doesn't rain.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Tattoo
Sleeping
Shawn's back to work this week. It'll be nice when the money starts coming back in but it sucks at night. She still hasn't gotten on a sleep schedule so there's never any way to tell when she's actually going to sleep and for how long. Last night was a good night. I was asleep before 3am and she slept till 7am. She stayed up for a little over two hours before going back to sleep till noon. Unfortunately, she's usually up for about two hours after every feeding. I can't believe how big she's gotten already. I want to be able to remember every single moment of right now but I'm sure some day I'll start to forget the little things that are so important right now. That's probably why I take so many pictures of her. I want to remember every smile, pose and grimace.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Pictures and Updates
I would've wrote again sooner but everytime I get online, she starts to cry. I can do anything else and she's an angel, I get online and she screams. =) Shawn and I got married at the courthouse on July 8th. We'll have a ceremony next year on the same day where all our family and friends can be there. It was over very quickly. We didn't even have a chance to catch our breath before we knew it, it was over.
We've recently been experiencing the joys of colick. Neither Shawn nor myself is getting much sleep these days. She usually doesn't stop crying till between 4-6am. It's very frustrating and we feel awful for her because there's nothing we can do to make her feel better. We basically take turns failing at calming her for hours on end. She's starting to smile a lot more now. Every morning when she wakes up she smiles for about ten minutes. She's in the very beginning of cooing. One night when she was asleep, she laughed. That was the only time she's done it but of course it almost made me start balling. Every day I look at her and think she's getting big too fast. I'm already worried about the first day of school. I'm positive I'll be a mess. I've literally taken a photo album's worth of pictures already.
Everything hasn't been all rosy this past month. My grandpa went into the hospital on July 3rd. He was in severe pain in his abdomen. It turned out to be pancreatitis. He had some very scary nights while in the hospital. There was one day when we rushed to the hospital thinking the worst. He finally came home yesterday evening. It'll be a long time before I'll be able to relax though. I'm always waiting for that phone call that he's back in the hospital.
Shawn broke one of his fingers and is on disability until he's cleared from the doctor. That's been very stressful with a new baby. The first week he drove me up the wall because he was restless and worried about money. It's gotten better since then thankfully. It's nice to have him home though. Every once and a while I'm able to get a full night of sleep without waking up to the baby because he's home and allows me to sleep. I'm very grateful for that on the nights when I'm so tired that I literally feel like my eyes are bleeding.
We had to put our Siberian Husky to sleep right after Jasmine was born. She hadn't been eating well for quite some time and the vets couldn't figure out what was causing it. We took her in for an ultrasound and found that she had a great deal of cancer growing in her body. We made the decision to have her euthanized when the vet told us we had to make the decision soon or it would be out of our hands. We didn't want her to suffer like that.
Other than that, our lives have basically been feeding, changing, sleeping and consoling a baby. I'm amazed at all the swings, bouncers, etc that are out there. We recently received a bouncer that has "fish" in an aquarium and it literally blows bubbles. She's fascinated by it. Well, she's crying now so I must be going. I'll try to write again soon.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
The Whole Story
Sunday, June 19, 2005
It's BORN
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
Still pregnant, still lazy
Well, it's almost eight hours after my exam and I'm still bleeding and cramping. I don't know if that's normal or not. I'm going to wait till morning and then call the office if I'm still bleeding. I've had so many internals and never once bled so it's weird that all of sudden I start now.
I was starting to get restless and grouchy tonight so me and my mom took a trip to Meijer. More to get out of the house than really needing anything. I asked her if she'd like to come with me and when she seemed reluctant, I told her she didn't have to. All the while in my head I was saying 'please please come with me.' I was in a weird mood. I'm glad she decided to tag along. I might have started balling if she'd said no just because I was so emotional at the time. I bought a pint of ice cream, came home, ate half of it and feel better now. Anyone calls my doctor and tells him that and I'll make you regret it. *grin* I STILL have not packed my hospital bag. Yes, I am lazy. For whatever reason, it's only when it comes to that damned bag. In the last few weeks, I've been more active than usual; painting the nursery, putting baby stuff together, baby clothes folded, etc. I just can't seem to get up the enthusiasm when it comes to that bag. *sigh* It's the one thing I have left to do. I'd feel so much better if I just did it. How many of you believe it's going to get packed tonight? If you think by morning I'll have everything together, you're more gullible than I am.
My opinion on the Alligator
An Alligator in the Saint Joe River Part 2
A conservation officer with the Department of Natural Resources shot and killed the alligator on Sunday.
That came as a disappointment to one of the canoeists who first spotted and photographed the gator on May 27th. He had hoped the gator could be captured alive,
That was not the case as the officer was not able to get close enough to attempt a capture, but that he did get a good enough look to eliminate the reptile.
DNR biologist Rod Edgell said, “It wasn't a concern ecologically. The only concern we had was that somebody might try to capture the animal, or something like that, and actually end up hurting themselves.”
The gator was about two and a half feet long, between two and three-years-old. It was probably someone's pet and was dumped there when it became too hard to handle.
An Alligator in Saint Joe River
St. Joseph County, IN - An alligator on the St. Joseph River sounds rather hard to believe, but some Penn High School teachers have proof.
Five Penn High teachers and two of their sons took a canoe trip last Friday. They had no idea that along a stretch of the St. Joseph River they'd make an amazing discovery.
They saw an alligator sunning itself along the banks of the river, something you don't see too often.
Penn biology teacher John Kovatch even tried to capture the reptile. “I was going to throw it in Mel's boat,” joked Kovatch.
As for what will happen to the alligator, DNR biologist Rod Edgell said, “Odds are somebody's going to catch it or it's just going to live there peacefully until the winter comes and then it'll probably pass."
Edgell says from the looks of the alligator it's a juvenile, about one or two years old and about two or three feet long.
A couple of the teachers have gone back to try and find the reptile, but with no luck.
Still the same
My doctor didn't strip my membranes today. He didn't say why and I didn't ask. I was happy to leave without having that done. He did do a pelvic exam as well as an internal exam. I came home to find that I was bleeding. Hopefully that will go away in a little while. It's probably just from the exams, although this is the first time I've bled. I go back in a week for a nonstress test to make sure that that baby is ok. That's supposed to take a little over a half an hour. That's assuming I don't go into labor before then. He said I'm 70% effaced, 1cm dilated and at -2 station. (0 station is when the baby is in the pelvis and 1-4 is during labor) I'm going to try using my rocking chair some more tonight. I figure it got me to dilate a little, maybe it'll get me to labor. I really don't want to be induced.
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
No progression
Well, I'm 3 days from my due date and still there seems to be no end in sight. I'm just as pregnant today as I was yesterday and the day before. We have our final doctor's appointment tomorrow and will have my membranes stripped in hopes of getting my labor started. I am obviously not looking forward to this very painful appointment. I've been told that if I have to give birth, I should be able to deal with having them stripped. I feel that no pain is fun and just because I will HAVE to give birth (unless c-section is required) doesn't mean I should look forward to this appointment. If this doesn't cause my labor then I will be induced next week sometime. We'll find out more about that tomorrow. I would prefer to have my labor start naturally as I am terrified of needles and the pitocin is given through IV. I can handle the IV if I'm already in a lot of pain, otherwise, no thank you. It would be hell to get me to the hospital if I already know I have to get stuck. A ridiculous thing to fear to most people but I can't help it.
We moved the couch and loveseat into the nursery yesterday and after moving the baby stuff several (SEVERAL) times, I was finally satisfied with how it ended up looking. It's cramped but I'm not looking to win any design awards on this one. Now I have no reason to put off packing my bag for the hospital. No more excuses, except for laziness. Well, I'm off to blow dry my hair and try to find something productive to do besides sleeping.
Sunday, June 5, 2005
Nursery DONE!!!!!!
Ok, so the other day, I went a little overboard with how upset I was at Shawn. I didn't take it out on him though. I wrote in my journal instead, felt better and got over it. Good thing too because looking back on it, I was a little emotional about everything. Me, Shawn, Paul and my mom all went to Lowe's to get some paint for the living room and some more rollers for the painting in the baby's room. On the way home, one of the shocks in the jeep went out so when we got home, the boys started messing with the car. After Paul left, me and Shawn went to get something to eat and then went and bought me a hammock. Something I've wanted for as long as I can remember. When we got home, we relaxed for about an hour before getting started on the nursery again. We busted our butts and got most of the painting done on Saturday night and finished it up on Sunday. It's VERY yellow. Imagine the sun in a 12x17 room. It's bright. Everything else in the room (lamps, blinds, etc) is navy blue though so it all contrasts nicely. On Sunday, Shawn and my mom put the crib together while I put together the swing. I forgot how gorgeous that crib was. I'm so glad we spent the extra money on it. It converts to a day bed and a twin so he can use it till he moves out. =)~ When Shawn left for work, me and my mom put together the play yard and then started moving furniture around in the nursery. I'm going to end up moving everything around again because everything isn't going to fit the way it is now, at least not without looking cramped. We're going to use half of the room as a nursery and half as a "family" room. Basically, we're going to have a couch and loveseat on one side of the room with a tv and the other side will have all the baby stuff on it. I won't know exactly how I want everything till Shawn moves the couch and loveseat in there tomorrow. We're also getting directv in the baby's room on Tuesday. We already have it downstairs so it didn't cost much to get another box upstairs. I'm really trying hard not to go back into that room and start rearranging things again. I've been working in that room from 6pm till 12am. (a lot of the time I was sitting on the floor folding clothes so I wasn't on my feet the entire time) I need to start thinking about going to sleep, and not trying to decide the best way an outfit looks folded. It's probably a good thing this room wasn't done months ago, I never would've stopped messing with everything. Well, I'm going to try and read some of my Koontz book and then get some sleep.
Saturday, June 4, 2005
Grrr.... Grrrr... GRRRRR
I'm so annoyed with Shawn today. It's just one of those days. Yesterday, I had to go to the OB's office suddenly. After Wednesday I had started leaking quite a bit of fluid so when it hadn't stopped by Friday, I called and they had me come in immediately. After a WHOLE bunch of tests, they determined that my water hadn't broken and that I was free to go home. Shawn says better safe than sorry but it's not his balls being put into a vice either. While we were AT the OB's office, he had his cell phone and it starts RINGING. He turns it off, only to turn it back on when we're sitting down to call Paul back and explain to him why he hung up on him. We thought I was going into frickin' labor and he's calling Paul to apologize. GRRRRRR. Today, he was supposed to go pay the Jeep payment. Well, he did that HOURS ago and still has yet to return because he had to MEET Paul at the cell phone place to "help" him pay his cell phone bill. When I asked why Paul couldn't pay his bill by himself he just said I'm just gonna meet him. Then I try AND try to call him and the phone just rings. He went to get something to eat and left his damned phone in the car. Do you have any idea how many times he's left it in the car when he's with me? NEVER. Not even once. Apparently, it's only life and death if I'm with him. Nevermind that I could go into labor at any time. Well, he's home so now I'm going to go.
Thursday, June 2, 2005
Stripped
I found out today that my doctor was actually trying to strip my membranes. I don't know if he was able to before I told him to stop. It could've started my labor within hours had he been successful. I was told that if I haven't had the baby by next week's appointment, that they'll try again. As long as we get paint on the nursery walls, I'll go ahead and let them. I might let them anyways just because I don't want to have to be induced in two weeks. I've had an upset stomach since last night. I don't if that's from my exam or just from being pregnant. Maybe a little of both.
Looks like it's going to be rainy here for a few days. We really need it and it'll be easier to keep Shawn busy on the room if he can't play with his cars outside. Tomorrow, his friend is supposed to come and pick up a bedframe that we have. (we'll see if it actually happens or not) It's in the nursery and it's either getting burned or he can have it but it needs to go now.
I really need to pack MY hospital bag. I have everything the baby needs ready to go but nothing for myself. I don't even know where most of the stuff I want is, except for my robe and slippers. I'm sure it won't get packed until I actually go into labor, just to give myself something to do.
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
Grandma tries to jumpstart labor
My doctor's appointment went good today. We're still 1cm but thinned out almost completely now. He was going to try to dialate me more until I quickly said no. (it hurt like hell) I asked how long they'll wait till they induce (thinking it would be two weeks after my due date) and apparently they only wait till one week after your due. So no matter what happens, there will be a baby in approximately two weeks. Shawn looked like he was going to vomit. Men are funny. These things aren't "real" to them till it's almost ready to happen. He frequently looks like he's going to be ill now. For months he's been saying he can't wait and now it's here and I think he could wait another month or so to get used to the idea. He told me today that he'd rather I had a c-section. I just don't think he likes the idea of seeing me in that much pain. I told him that as long as I could avoid that, I would so he was out of luck and would just have to be a big boy. Men could never have babies. The human race would go extinct if we depended on them for labor and delivery. We have another appointment in exactly a week as long as we don't go into labor before then. I swear that's what my doctor was aiming for today. (he's on call at the hospital tonight)
My grandma about gave me a heartattack last night. She's usually in bed by around 7pm. She called at 9pm. I immediately thought there was something wrong with someone because there was no way she'd be awake that late, let alone call us that late. I asked her why she was up so late and she was very slow about telling me. It went something like this; Well *long pause* Your grandpa *long pause* he fell a few days ago *another long pause* and we just got back from the doctor's office *pause* they took some xrays *pause* and he broke his collar bone. Whooooooosh. That was the air being let out of my lungs from holding my breath. I felt sick to my stomach for two hours after that. I thought for sure she was going to say someone died or that my grandpa's cancer was back and that was what they found on the xray. He's a stubborn old man. He fell days ago and didn't go have it xrayed till last night.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Another boring one
I got up early today, thinking I had a doctor's appointment. I must be having a lot of blonde moments lately. My doctor's appointment is tomorrow. I reminded Shawn that we had an appointment today a good ten times, only to wake him up this afternoon and tell him I was wrong, again. So tomorrow we'll get to see if there's been any more changes. I'm seeing a different doctor than I have for my previous internals, hopefully it'll be a little less painful. I can't believe there's only ten days left till my due date. Just seems crazy to me that it's already been that long. Everytime I get any ache or new pain, I think uh-oh this is it. So far I've been wrong about that too.
We got the primer paint on the walls this weekend. Now we have to clean the room out and paint everything. It's going to be REALLY yellow. We won't have the nursery blankets and stuff for a while though. I had to order it online last week and it said it could take up to eight weeks to deliver. I'm not worried about that though. He can't use the blankets or even the bumper till he's at least six months old. Before then there's too big of a risk of suffocation. It'll be nice to be able to start setting everything up though. We also got the rest of the baby stuff bought over the weekend. We just need some curtains/shades for the windows and some more diapers. Once again, we had a pretty boring weekend. We went out to eat with Paul on Friday and that's about the extent of it other than the shopping. Well, I just thought I'd let everyone know I'm just lazy and haven't written in this thing over the weekend, not in labor.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Walk-in Appointment
Had my 38 week doctor's appointment today. At least I thought I did. Apparently, my doctor's appointment was TWO DAYS ago. Whoops. I could've sworn it wasn't till today. They were able to fit me in anyways though. And I got in sooner than I normally would have. It was a little bit embarrassing. I felt like an idiot. At any rate, the doctor did an internal. (OUCH) And we're 1cm dilated and he says pretty thinned out. (I'm going to take that as 50-60%) He says I'm doing really well considering this is my first pregnancy. He also said that the baby seems to be of normal size and not too big. I got the numbers from my glucola test today too. Too high is 140, my score was 135. That was a close one. We have another appointment on Wednesday of next week. It was supposed to be on Friday but I had it changed because I don't want to see the other doctor. Shawn looked a little more nervous when the doc said we were dilated. It's really starting to hit him that there's not much time left.
We'll start painting the nursery this weekend. It's a long weekend so we should get a lot accomplished. In a perfect world anyways. We're also going to be buying whatever baby stuff is left on our list this weekend. And I get to have my haircut. I want to do it before he's born because I don't know when I'll have another chance.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
It looks like the pictures are going to have to wait till at least tomorrow. I didn't get a chance to upload them all today. For the past few hours I've been sitting on the footstool part of my rocker, hoping to start my labor. (I don't want to go to the OB Thursday... I'll be getting another internal) I was told that rocking motions can help get the baby's head lower. It's the same as using a birthing ball. (yoga ball) Not much new in the last 24 hours. We took the Jeep to get some things fixed on it that the place agreed to fix before we bought it. Shawn had to go pick it up today. We also had them do the brakes just because Shawn didn't feel like doing them right now. He usually does all the work to his cars unless he feels lazy. Well, I'm making cupcakes right now so I'd better get back to them otherwise one of the animals will get to them first.
Monday, May 23, 2005
We're boring people
Woah! Only 18 days LEFT until my due date. I swear the last time I looked at that counter it said 100 plus days left. Must breathe and not freak out. hee hee whooo hee hee whooo. I'm sure I'll go into labor in the middle of the night or when no one is home. I like my sleep so I'd be more annoyed if I woke up to labor pains than if no one was here.
Not a very eventful weekend. Shawn bought a '97 Jeep Cherokee so that I'll always have the car with me. After we sold the truck we were a little worried about only having one vehicle. I'm not a fan of his choice but I've got the '99 Grand AM so what do I care. Me and my mom spent most of Saturday shopping for flowers. (I was secretly walking in hopes of bringing on labor) You spend all day looking at tons of flowers only to bring home a couple of them. I got two rolls of film developed yesterday. I'll be posting some of the pictures today or tomorrow depending on when I have the most time. (mom took them to work with her today) I have dial up so it takes and eternity to get them all on here. Wow, it really was a boring weekend. By now I would've went shopping for summer clothes but unless I want to buy a ton of maternity stuff that I can only wear for short time, then I just have to wait. Oh and some of the pictures I'll be posting are a little graphic. They're pictures of Molly and Cody's injuries.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Full Term
I've been a big whiner today. I keep telling Shawn it's not fair that I'm sick AND nine months pregnant. I sound like a two year old. My poor brother has a huge white spot above his uvula. (the hangy ball at the back of your throat) It looks really uncomfortable. I noticed today that I was getting some spots in the same place. I hope it's just a coincidence. I've gotten those before when I was sick and never noticed any pain with them. I woke up this morning feeling a little better and then felt like crap later and now I feel almost fine. My body keeps making me think I'm better and I get my hopes up, only to realize I'm still sickly.
The baby is REALLY feeling low today. If I sit on the floor, sometimes I swear he could touch the ground through my stomach if he kicked hard enough. He's been squirming nonstop for the past few days. I wonder if he feels sick or if he's just being a snot? I hope he's not too big. Everyday he feels bigger and bigger. I'm worried he'll turn out to be a ten pound baby and I know there's no way he's coming out any way other than c-section if he's that big. After my glucola test came back high, I did cut back on sweets. I hope none of it effected him anyways and it was just a fluke that my levels were so high. I constantly feel like I have to pee now. It's similar to having a urinary tract infection. I run to the bathroom even if I was just in there and there's nothing there. It's really frustrating when you wake up in the middle of the night and think you have to pee and you don't. You walk all the way down the stairs in the dark only to get there and think great now what. I won't miss that part of pregnancy.
Today I'm 37 weeks pregnant. That makes the baby technically full term. At least we know that no matter when I go into labor from this point on, he won't be a premie.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Sick house
I. Feel. Like. Crap. I make it nine months before I get sick... NINE MONTHS. I slept horrible last night. Between waking up to pee and waking up just because I felt like crap, I probably only got a couple hours of sleep. Every time I woke up, I'd be up for an hour or so. Plus, when Shawn came to bed, he decided to call the dog up with him (I think he was cold) and she stretched right on my belly. I had the window fan on high (it dropped under 40 degrees last night) and the ceiling fan on and I still woke up sweating every time. I'm sure to a normal person, it was freezing in there. I swear if I go into labor sick, I just might murder someone. I came downstairs and immediately told my brother that I no longer like him... only to take it back a minute later when he croaked out an apology. Kind of hard to not like someone when they sound sicker than you are.
Last night sucked for me and not because I was sick. It was completely depressing. Some of my extended family members seem to have no filter between their brain and mouth. My aunt and uncle came by yesterday to give me my baby shower gift. (which I'm almost positive she went and bought last night) I HATE it when people touch my stomach, unless it's one of the people I live with that is. I don't feel like my mom, brother or Shawn is invading my little personal bubble. Anyways, the first thing she did was touch my stomach and no matter how many times I tried to politely back away, she continued to follow me and touch my stomach AND poke it. My uncle proceded to tell her that I DON'T want her touching my stomach and she told him, no pregnant women like it. No. They. Don't. I finally got away and in the house. When I was putting Mia in the crate (for some reason she wanted to eat my uncle, which is very strange, most dogs like him) she commented on how FAT I am. If I didn't love my uncle so much... let's just say I have a LOT of dirt on her and could've very easily made her life hell. But I wouldn't do that to him. I just went back to sitting on the couch and gritted my teeth through the rest of their visit. I basically ignored her from that point on and talked to my uncle. I was SO glad when they left. Later on, my brother came home from his dad's and had told me that he had a package there for me. It was from my aunt and grandma on my dad's side. First of all, they mailed it to his house, like I don't have an address. That really irks me. I live HERE. I wonder if they'll continue to send things to my dad's after me and Shawn move out. At any rate, all the little outfits were very cute and then I got to the card. On the inside was a small note. It said the usual stuff, can't wait, hope you like everything and then she offered advice. I felt like I was 12 years old and they feel like I have no business having a child because I'm a complete idiot. She told me to make sure to remove the tags because it could scratch the baby's skin. And that I should be careful when picking out a name (EVERYONE knows we already have a name but aren't telling until it's born) because he could get teased and that he's the one that should be proud of his name. To me that's saying that it's obvious that since I won't tell them the name that it must be something absolutely awful. I told Shawn I want to pack up all the people that I care about and actually like and move somewhere far away. We could have our own little lives there and I wouldn't have to deal with all these relatives that seem to like to hurt my feelings. I've had several other instances in the last few weeks where someone makes me feel like a child and that I couldn't care for a kitten let alone a baby. As if I have no common sense at all. The person I seem to get the best advice from is my animal rescue aunt. She has no kids so you wouldn't think that she'd have better advice than someone who has ten of them but she does. She also a lot more tactful that most of these other people. Maybe it's just because we're so much alike that I take her advice so well. Who knows. I'm sure everyone will think I'm overly sensitive but it's hard not to be when you get the same comments day after day.
Matt, our horse farrier, came out on Monday to trim the horses hooves. We all stood outside and talked to him for about a half hour after he was done. It's nice that the weather is getting more comfortable, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to do that. He's always got somefunny story or another to tell about his work. He says he does between 15 and 25 horses a day. That's 15-25 times that he could get his head kicked in. At least that's what I hear when he says things like that, Shawn hears dollar signs. haha
We had another dog fight over the weekend. *sigh* It was two of my dogs. My aussie is getting up there in her years and I really can't have them attacking her anymore. I hope getting April fixed will calm her down. Right now I'm keeping them both completely seperated, hoping for them to forget. I tried letting them outside together a few days ago and April got huffy and tried to fight with her again. Poor August has several punctures on her head and her back is totally bruised.
I've got to go wake up Shawn now. That guy is going to be here doing drywall again. He's having a colonoscopy tomorrow so he's going to be in our bathroom every five minutes. He's 31 and they're worried he might have cancer. I hope I don't have to go get more toliet paper. I pee a lot you know. =)
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Baby Shower
Half the house has come down with a cold, at least I hope it's just a cold. I'm sure I'll catch it in a few days. One of my fears when I got pregnant was that I'd get sick and THEN go into labor. How are you expected to push something out of you when you're sick?
We have a guy coming today to fix the drywall. Paul really did a number on it. This guy is supposed to know what he's doing. I just hope he doesn't manange to screw it up worse. I'd really like to be done with drywall and all the building crap.
I had my baby shower over the weekend. It was exhausting. It's not easy to sit there for two hours, smiling the entire time and then being the person that everyone is supposed to be talking to. I felt like a monkey (or a hippo) at the zoo. We got a lot of crib sheets (which we desperately needed), my mom got us our baby swing that I wanted and many other things. I'm just not much in the mood to write today I guess, otherwise I'd list everything. I made cupcakes with blue and white frosting. We had blue and white balloons, blue and white m&m's. The table cloth, plates, cups and napkins all had babies on them with different sayings. One of my aunt's wasn't able to come due to a story she's doing, she sent her husband as a stand in. You'd think it would've been awkward, having a guy there with all those women, but then you'd have to know my uncle Perry to know that it wasn't. They're going to come back when the baby is born to take pictures. (they're both professional photographers and take much better pictures than I ever could) My uncle could've won every prize that was there for the games but he fudged all but one of them so no one would know that he'd gotten ALL the answers. One of the girls asked if we had a name for the baby and if we were telling anyone the name. My uncle claimed he could guess if I gave him the first letter and the amount of letters in the name. I refused. I know he would've guessed it even though it's not a common name.
I have so many emails to write. I just haven't been in the mood to sit here and write them. I basically have just been wanting to lay on the couch all day except for the occasional bout of nesting. I really need to get on it today though.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Nothing new
I recently recieved a book in the mail from my aunt. It's a memoir about this woman's first year with her newborn son. It's terrifying. It's a great book, very funny but all the while terrifying. There's many nights when she's been sitting with her son and he's been crying for well over four hours. FOUR HOURS?! I think I'll go insane. I don't know if I could face that every single night. I surely hope I don't have a colicky baby. (please, please, please) I know I'll be one of those mother's that has awful thoughts about hating her newborn. How can any sane person not think those things after four hours of constant crying? My mom seems to have taken having a newborn in stride, either that or she's lying. I hope she's lying, otherwise, my mom really is superwoman. I keep telling myself it'll be fine. I have a huge support network around me, especially since we live with my mom. I've got Shawn, his mom and many other relatives that would be willing to help if asked. I guess it's every woman's hope that she won't HAVE to ask. I know there's days right now that I wish I would just go into labor but I think if I did, I'd try shoving him back in before the doctor knew what I was doing. There's nights NOW before he's even born that I think what the hell am I doing? Last night I was in terrible pain for several hours and it was HIS fault. I couldn't help but think that when he gets the flu for the first time that I would secretly smile because I feel after all this, he almost deserves it. Maybe if he was a girl, I wouldn't think that so much. I'd get to look forward to the pains SHE would go through during pregnancy. I think that would subdue my evil thoughts for a while but with a boy, he never has to deal with that. If he ever gets a girl pregnant, he gets to sit back and relax at least until the baby is born. I think that's a bunch of crap. The girl should have to be pregnant for so many months and then she can pass the baby off onto the man and he can be pregnant for a while. That seems fair to me. Hell, I'd even volunteer womankind for the labor process.
We've had threats of bad weather all day. With seven dogs, it's not easy to keep them all inside and have things go SMOOTHLY. Since Snoopy, our 85lb lab mix, is so terrified of thunderstorms, I decided to let everyone in. Snoopy is also a world class pain in the ass. He climbs onto the tables when no one is looking, jumps on the counters and steals whatever food may be availible. We have a crate that is large enough for him but we've never trained him in it. Today I decided to start. I had too much stuff to do to sit around and babysit the dog. Imagine, a VERY pregnant me trying to shove this VERY stubborn dog into this crate. I'm sure it was very amusing. Thankfully, the only witnesses were the other dogs. He whined until I gave him a treat, now he's sleeping. I'm afraid to actually leave the house though in case he tries to escape. Thankfully, the other dogs have enough sense to let him alone.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Nine months
I'm still finding it hard to comprehend that at some point and time, I am going to go into labor and this wiggly thing in my stomach is going to want out. I don't even think about that. I say things like, it's so and so amount of days till my due date but it doesn't really mean anything. It's going to be a shock when it actually happens. My brain is screaming, you can't do this, figure out how to get out of it, call in sick!!! Call in sick? Yes, I know but that's what I keep hearing. Like if I say I don't feel like it today that I won't have to do it when the time comes. There's a part of my brain that is in full panic mode and is searching for any possible means to avoid going through labor. It does the same thing when I have to go get a shot or blood drawn. I usually give in, at least for a week or two, when its something that simple. I'll officially be nine months tomorrow and one week from full term. Yikes.
We were going to go to a race up in Michigan this weekend but with the way the weather is looking, I'm thinking we may just stay home. Don and his wife said they couldn't go so the only other option was to go with Paul and his girlfriend. That makes the whole idea even less appealing. I really hope he breaks up with this girl before the baby is born because I REALLY don't EVER want her around my kid. I don't care if he can't understand what she's saying, eventually he will be able to and I know he'll be able to tell that MY mood changes when she's in a room. I just can't see him being with her forever and if he is, well then he's not as smart as I thought he was. I wish she could see herself and realize that the way she talks is not "cool" and she seems to be the only person that thinks it is. There's times when I wanted to go to OTHER people's tables and put my hands over their kids ears, just in case they were within hearing range. Well, I should really do something productive. My brother stayed home today (didn't wake up to his alarm) and I'm sure by the end of the day he will have trashed the living room. I just cleaned it last night so that's wonderful.
Monday, May 9, 2005
My weekend
It should take me a while to write this entry. A little while ago, I went to put the senegal parrot in another cage. She's normally fairly handtame but does have her bouts of being quite a mean bird. Today when I went to pick her up, she bit into my finger and wouldn't let go. She ended up biting through my nail and into my finger. I can only imagine how that nail will look when it finally grows out. (the bite is where the nail initially starts growing) I don't know what I'm going to do with her. She screams all day. She used to only scream when one of us left the room for a moment or two and she'd usually stop. Now she screams even if we're sitting right next to her cage. The only relief we get is to put her in another room and leave her there. I'm thinking of moving her into another room permanently but I'm worried that once the baby is born, her screaming will wake him. I just don't know how much longer I can stand to deal with the constant screaming. It'll come down to getting rid of her or moving her.
We ended up going out with Paul and his girlfriend on Friday. I was not exactly friendly. I didn't want to go in the first place but both me and Shawn knew that Paul wouldn't give up until we had dinner with them sometime during the weekend so we decided to get it over with early on. I was grouchy, the restraunt was unbelievably HOT and that made me feel sick to my stomach. All I wanted to do was leave. I think she made one or two attempts to talk to me but I was pretty much silent the entire night. It's hard to get Paul to understand that at almost nine months pregnant, I'm not always going to want to be polite or even tolerable. Men are idiots sometimes. Shawn seems to understand pretty good what I'm going through with all the uncomfortableness that goes along with pregnancy. Paul on the otherhand, seems to just think that I put on a little weight and that's it. We (me and shawn) want to go to a race up in Michigan this weekend but we didn't want to go alone. Paul already knows we're thinking of going so if we don't invite him and his girlfriend, he'll be upset. On the otherhand, we could go with another couple and actually have a good time. We seem to be gravitating more towards people who have children and are trying to start their life, rather than the ones that have no idea where they're going. We also had Paul over on Saturday to help with the nursery. (me and my mom went shopping) After a few hours, Shawn called me and asked if me and my mom wanted to get something to eat. (I made sure there would be no girlfriend tagging along, otherwise I would've prefered to starve) We ended up going out to get Mexican food. During our meal, Paul's gf called and he explained to her that we were eating and he'd call her after we left. I swear, within ten minutes of getting in the car, she text messaged him asking him if there was something wrong because he hadn't called her all day! He was with her the entire day EXCEPT for the three hours that he'd been with us. We ended up dropping Paul off at a gas station to meet her. She looked quite pissed. We tried calling Paul later on in the night and he acted like if he spoke to us for more than a minute that he'd get in "trouble." If that's the way it's going to be after dating some girl for a few weeks then he can spend every weekend with her and we'll go over to our other friends houses.
Me and my mom went to Walmart yesterday and I was going to get some maternity capris. The only thing I've worn during this entire pregnancy has been sweatpants (black so they look a little like dress pants) and a pair of khakis. I had forgotten how large a pair of capris can make your butt look. I almost started balling in the changing room, Shawn called at that moment and I bit his head off for no reason. (later I said I was sorry if that makes any difference!) I ended up getting a pair of black shorts. I didn't remember that I felt bigger than I was in capris even before I got pregnant until we were almost home. That made me feel a little better. Shawn bought me a cute shirt and that made me feel a lot better. =() Nothing that a little shopping couldn't cure.
