Terrorists

I'm not usually one to be happy about hearing of someone dying, human or animal but I was when I saw this headline on cnn.com  U.S. officials: CIA kills top al Qaeda terrorist in Pakistan The one thing I wonder though after reading more, is who else died when they killed al-Libi?  Where they innocent people who just happened to be in the same area of this man?  If so, killing him was not worth their lives as well.  As we all know though, few will know the truth other than the CIA and other government officials.

Poor Tarin

Jasmine woke up after only six hours of sleep this morning.  I eventually fell back to sleep while she was watching Shiloh.  At some point and time she decided it would be cute to drink some leftover Mountain Dew that my husband hadn't thrown out.  After drinking some of it, she thought it would be fun to torture the dogs with it.  She poured it on all three of them, the floor and mainly the bed.  I woke up wondering why there were three dogs laying on me and why my feet felt sticky and wet.  TV went off quickly and she was forced to go back to sleep.  I'm assuming this was a while after she drank the Dew as she seemed to be coming "down."  An hour later I woke up to my foster whining.  This was the second time she had woken me up to go outside.  I knew my husband was home and would be in to let her out in a minute so I told her to shut up and tried to go back to sleep.  Before I could, Shawn came flying in the bedroom and told me I needed to get up NOW and that Tarin was bleeding.  After not getting good sleep all night, I was a little annoyed that I was being woken up for a scratch.  I walked in the backroom to find blood puddles everywhere and my poor aussie laying on the floor, held by my husband.  After stopping the bleeding, I found that he had a large, deep cut on his main pad.  I know from previous experience that it could not be sutured so we took him in the kitchen to soak his foot and get most of the dirt out.  That's about the time I realized I had no vetwrap, gauze or bandages.  I called my mom, who has horses and always seems to have those in stock and asked her to rush some over.  We continued cleaning out his foot and then drying it.  He did really well when I got the vetwrap on and has yet to try and chew it off.  Although, going out to go potty is challenging.  I've been taping a plastic bag around his leg so that he doesn't get it wet in the snow.  The last trip out, he partially chewed the bag off.  He'll be on house arrest for a few weeks.  I wish I had some of those snow boots for dogs, it would make potty trips much easier for both of us.

After feeding the dogs, I went to bring Cash in.  As usual he just stood feet away from the back door as if he had no idea why I was calling him or what I was telling him to do.  At firstI was pissed.  It had been a really long day and I didn't want to stand in the cold and snow dragging him inside.  Once I was standing in front of him he sat.  I took a step towards him, he took a step back, and sat again.  Finally I took his tie out off (he has to be on a tie out or he will dig out and run away and I live on a very busy street) and let him run the yard.  I ran into the garage to grab a frisbee and we played in the snow for a half hour.  I tried to pretend I was on the sandy beaches in Jamacia and not in the backyard covered in freezing snow and that my hands were burning not from the cold but from wind surfing earlier in the day.  ;-)  Once I went to take him inside, I realized that Jasmine had been throwing puppy food out the back door.  Back to a bad day again.  At least it's almost over.  All this while pms-ing in a bad way.  Being male in my presence is not wise at the moment.

We're supposed to get ten inches of snow between tonight and tomorrow morning.  It's February, time for dirty, melting snow, not more falling.  I'm cold and need more dogs on the bed. 

 

Good Dog, Rest Now

I forgot to mention, we had to have one of the rescue dogs put to sleep today.  He was a big goofy lab, only two years old.  They thought he broke his leg this morning so they rushed him to the vets only to find out that he had severe damage to his cerebrum, leaving him partially brain damaged as well as having hip displasia and the joints just being completely torn away.  Everyone felt that it was in his best interest to be euthanized.  He would've lived an entire life of pain.  At least his last days were spent in a warm house, not confined to a cage in peace and quiet.

Rain, Snow, What the hell?

I've been working on Petfinders for the rescue for the past two days so forgive the absence.  I don't know that I feel totally better about that whole situation but I'm willing to let it go and see where this road takes me.  I was supposed to take my foster to an adoption event this weekend but I have family coming in to visit so I'm not sure if that will happen.  I'm hoping we have some dogs going on Sunday, that way she can get some experience. 

When I woke up from a nap with Jasmine, it was in the fifties and raining with thunderstorms.  Four hours after that, there was a windchill of -4 and blowing/drifting snow.  That's winter in Indiana for you.  They always say if you don't like the weather here, wait ten minutes.  We have wind gusts of 50mph and earlier we had blizzard like conditions with the blowing snow and all the rain we had earlier freezing.  I can't wait till summer.  My dogs can't wait till summer.  My poor doberman runs around outside to go potty like he's walking on hot coals.  They want to play frisbee and go to the beach, not sit indoors doing nothing all day. 

I Still Remember

I don't reserve my tears for that one particular day.  I don't only remember the lives that were lost on that one particular day.  I don't only have anger on that one particular day.  I don't only feel pride in the love of my country on that one particular day.  I remember it like it was this morning. I was awoken by my mom, who had a frantic tone to her voice and I could tell immediately by the feel of the air, the tension that something was very wrong.  I never expected that.  I never expected it here.  I never expected to feel that way.  "We're being attacked."  I will never forget those words.  I will never forget how I felt when I saw the first tower fall.  I will never forget how I felt when the second tower fell.  I see the second plane hitting the second tower over in my head as if I were watching it now.  I see the reporters tears as if they were happening now.  I see the fear in everyone's eyes as if it were happening now.  I wonder how anyone could purposely kill thousands of strangers and permanently scar millions for life with just the sight of those towers falling from the sky.  I wonder how they can be proud of such a thing.  I wonder how they can claim victory.  I wonder how they can live with themselves.  I watched, as the rest of the world, for days.  I saw the clips, the newscasts and the horror repeatedly and never changed the channel.  I wanted to know there were more survivors.  I wanted to know it wasn't going to happen again.  I wanted it to be a dream.  I've cried hundreds of tears for those in the towers, for their families, for their friends, for the children who will never know a parent, for the parents who lost their children.  I weep for those who have died, those who have to carry on and for those who's lives will never be the same.  How many of us cried that day and the days following?  How many of us weeped for those we'd never get the chance to know?  How many of us ached for the families left behind?  I will never forget that day.  I will never forget how we pulled together as one.  I will never forget how we took care of strangers.  I will never forget how far we traveled to put a city back together.  I will not reserve my tears for that one day.  I will not only remember those that died on that one day.  I will not only have angeron that one day. 

I need a drink-or two

I'm having a - difficult night.  I can't be too specific as the regards of what has happened are confidential.  Basically some people were at least initially concerned about the amount of animals that I have within the rescue.  (my own animals, mainly the seven dogs) I understand the concerns being as I was no one to them.  I was just someone off the street who wanted to volunteer/foster and then I say I have seven dogs, six cats, five birds, three ferrets, one rat and a rabbit.  I would be concerned as well.  But it was very upsetting to see these things written in print from the very people I thought I was building a relationship with.  I have to say, I've always felt on the outside with some people but thought it was because I was the new girl and they were just being cautious.  Come to find out, those were the people that were also most concerned about my "situation."  I hate that I can't go into detail with this but I don't want to risk my place within the shelter or their confidence in me.  I really feel sick over this.  I didn't get to make a first impression before it was made for me.  It's very hard to reconstruct youself in others eyes.  I have went as far as offering up my entire life for inspection.  Allowing those that doubt me to come into my own and observe my animals and my life with them.  What else can I do but just be myself?  I have sent an email explaining my position and the fact that I would like it if from now on, I was confronted about concerns instead having things speculated as that's how things get misconstrued and I would prefer to address their concerns as honestly as possible.  It was very diplomatic and not at all how I was actually feeling but sometimes it's best not to say things exactly how you're feeling them at the time.  It causes hurt feelings and I was trying to mend fences.  I just hope that I managed to do that.

Two words: That Sucked

All the dogs made it to the Chicago area safely.  It was a LONG drive.  We went completely unprepared since we've never transported one dog, let alone seven.  Obviously, I didn't go to sleep so we got started a little earlier than usual.  I was thinking I could get to the shelter, pick up the dogs and go.  Well, the woman at the front desk was very unfriendly and unhelpful, refusing to open the doors until 9am, as that's when they open.  I guess it doesn't matter that I was helping them by taking seven dogs off their hands.  They brought out a toy poodle first that was filthy and told me he would probably be good the whole way.  Probably my ass.  Then came a little terrier, who was the cleanest of all the dogs.  Finally, five LARGE puppies.  We had no crates, nothing.  I made a call to one of our volunteers who regularly does transports and has many crates and we headed in her direction.  In the ten or so minutes it takes to get there from the shelter, the puppies decided to have diarrhea butt all over the backseat and then of course they walked in it, spreading it further through the car.  The poodle was a pain in the butt.  He kept trying to hump the terrier (which was on my lap) and when he wasn't doing that, he was trying to attack him.  We finally get to the volunteer's house and there's only one crate that will fit in our car and it will only hold three of the five puppies.  I was not about to leave her house without all those pups in crates.  We grabbed to cat carriers and managed to work places for them to go in the car.  You should've seen how many double takes we got from truckers on the expressway.  She also helped me clean the pooh from the car and let us borrow blankets and towels in case of further incidents.  She really was a life saver this morning and I made sure to thank her several times as well as through the volunteer email group.  Finally, we were on our way.  It smelled awful.  They didn't bother to wash these dogs... well ever.  All the puppies have the beginning of kennel cough, as well as the poodle.  They vaccinate for that but not until the day they leave so the entire time they are in the shelter, they are exposed to it.  We had a few more incidents with the poodle and terrier but nothing major.  The only person in the car not cramped and uncomfortable was Jasmine whose carseat provided her with ample room.  She whined... a lot.  We had her dvd player with us and she watched the same movie three times but really started getting grumpy the closer we got to Chicago.  She wanted to go to grandma's and made it seem like life or death.  The shelter in Chicago appears very small from the outside but it is really well set up and CLEAN.  The staff there was extremely nice and helpful, allowing us to use their bathroom to clean up and use the potty.  They immediately took the poodle and started a bath for him.  They said they were going to bathe them all before even getting their paperwork done.  I don't blame them.  All the dogs were grateful to be out of the car, able to move around and stretch their legs.  I was just happy to be halfway clean and able to move my seat away from the dashboard.  You would think that would be the end of the problems.  My husband wrote down all the directions last night as our printer is currently on strike.  (something about low wages and poor working conditions)  By the time he got to the return directions, he apparently had a brain freeze as he left out one of the roads we were supposed to turn onto.  We were supposed to be on the road driving away from the shelter for 6 miles.  I don't know how long it was but I know it was a lot more than 6.  He stopped at a gas station to get directions.  Thankfully the owner was a foreigner.  They give the BEST directions.  (I've been on a lot of road trips and had to ask for a lot of directions, trust me on this one)  He told us to go back the other direction and get on the correct road.  (I thought it was odd that the directions said to get on INDIANA 294 when we were still in Illinois) Thankfully, after that, everything went smoothly, besides the whiny child who finally fell asleep about an hour from home.  We went to my mom's because I know it would be a nightmare if we didn't.  At this time, I still hadn't went to sleep and it was 3 in the afternoon.  After Rocco's opened, we ordered pizza.  (at five)  I think I made it to within a few minutes of my husband returning with the pizza before I fell asleep.  I woke up long enough to eat six or so pieces and then fell into a coma for six hours.  Eventually Jasmine crawled on the couch with me and went to sleep as well.  It took quite a while toget her to wake up.  I think she would've happily slept there till morning but my dogs hadn't been out to potty since 8am and it was 1am.  (can you believe no one had an accident)  Once we made it home, we realized we were completely out of dog food, so Shawn ran to Walmart (thank god for 24 hour walmarts) and I stayed at home with Jasmine, while she loves wallyworld, I was not about to put her back in that car after we had spent six hours none stop in it earlier in the day.  Throughout the entire car ride, I kept looking at the two dogs on my lap and thinking how long had it been since someone had spent more than a minute petting them.  How long since they had slept without twenty other dogs barking around them?  I don't think I stopped petting them the entire way there, which is saying a lot considering the state of the poodle's fur.  I wish I would've taken a picture of them all but it wasn't the first thing on my mind this morning.  We will NOT being doing another transport of this size without a cargo van again.  I personally will not be doing another one for at least a while.  And NEVER again will we take Jasmine with us.  It was just too much to deal with her and seven dogs for four hours and then just her for two more hours.  I have a Petsmart adoption event in the early afternoon tomorrow so I should get some (deep) sleep.  At least I don't have anything else to do for another week after that. 

Off we go

Today is going to be miserable.  I haven't had any sleep and considering I have to get up in less than ten minutes, I finally just gave up on trying.  We're taking SEVEN dogs in my CAR.  First it was three, then six and then seven.  I wouldn't even have known about the seventh one till I got there if one of the girls hadn't emailed me and told me.  We have five GSD puppies, one fox terrier and a half blind toy poodle.  The GSD pups are not really small either, they're all around 15lbs.  We're going to try to get a crate at the shelter they are coming from and just shove them all in it.  (not the terrier or poodle) The poodle will sit on my lap and the terrier gets the floor in front of my feet.  I do end up having to drive an hour in the wrong direction to go GET the dogs and then drive back the other way towards Chicago.  I'm taking Jasmine's portable dvd player with us and a coloring book.  (thanks mom) I really wanted to get at least a few hours of sleep.  UGH.  If I had known that I wouldn't be getting ANY, I wouldn't have taken my sleeping pills.  *don't take unless you can devote a full 8 hours to sleep* oops  At least I know seven dogs won't be euthanized this weekend.  I might pass out from exhaustion.  I'm REALLY hungry and we don't have any money to stop and get anything.  Plus, I don't like fast food, let alone fast food breakfast.  I wonder if Arby's serves lunch all day.  My director suggested that since we'd already be in Chicago we should act like tourists and see the sights.  I replied with what money?  Everything in Chicago (at least downtown) is way more expensive than anything I can find in my own town.  Same stores, same products but more expensive there.  Well, three minutes till the alarm goes off, I should go get ready.

Hate monger

If anyone is doomed to hell, it's this woman, Shirley Phelps.  She is the daughter of the man that says and I quote "Fags are going to hell." Listen hear------>podcast  She is a hateful, awful person.  I don't want to be part of any God that would purposefully cause 9/11, Katrina.  I can't imagine these people actually BELIEVING the crap they are saying.  Why would anyone want to live a life full of hate?  The only person your hurt by being hateful is yourself.  There is no ONE in this world that hasn't committed a "sin."  You know what, her hatefulness DOES hurt us.  It hurts to know that because you don't believe what someone else believes that they think you should go to hell.  I AM a good person.  You cannot judge whether someone is good or evil based on who they LOVE.  Love is supposed to be a good thing and not supposed to be based on whether you love someone of the same sex or not.  I don't know what this woman thinks she's accomplishing by using harsh words, and protesting not only gay/lesbian's funerals but the men and women that have died overseas.  I'm just speechless now.

Did I mention I DON'T own an SUV??

We're looking at transporting between 4 and 6 dogs on Saturday.  Five are shepherd mix puppies that will be up for euthanasia soon.  The last which is definitely going is a small poodle that is blind in one eye.  It's going to be a long two hours.  Not only will I have that many dogs in the car at once but my daughter as well.  What the hell have I agreed to?  At least we'll only have the dogs for two hours.  I was hoping to pick them up tomorrow (Friday) so that I don't have to go the opposite direction from Chicago (the shelter is just south of Chicago) but it's not looking promising since we're still not exactly sure how many dogs they can take.  She's looking for a foster for the last two shepherd puppies and if she finds one, we'll be at a six total. 

Taylor hasn't coughed at all today so I'm hoping we're at the beginning of the end.  I really didn't think it would past this fast but I'm not going to complain.  I just hope the other's don't come down with it.  The only thing we've had was a bloody nose from her nose being dry. 

Go ahead, make my day... wait stop, I've changed my mind

It's cold.  The snow won't stop falling.  And I've been cleaning up doggie diarrhea since the early hours of the morning.  Yes, on top of the madness that is kennel cough (sudden retching as if dog is dying) we also have several other sick dogs.  Tarin (one year old aussie male) seems to have gotten some kind of poisoning.  He is drooling really badly (very unusual for him) and considering his only other symptom is a mild loss of appetite, I think it's safe to say he probably ate a plant he shouldn't have.  He's otherwise happy to run like mad outdoors in the snow so it's ok to assume he'll live.  Savannah (four month old aussie female) started in with the diarrhea sometime around 3am.  She seems fine other than that so again, I'm going with she ate something she shouldn't have and is paying for it now.  (as am I)  They're like children, they all come down with something at the same time.  Now I'm just waiting patiently to see who will come down with kennel cough next.  On top of that, my doberman seems to have sores from his crate.  He has a dog bed and is out of the crate during the afternoon into the evening but still seems to have crate sores.  I swear I will not buy that dog a memory foam bed.  Really.

Want to apologize quickly for not commenting on any of your journals recently.  I've been reading them as regular but just don't seem to get around to the commenting part.  Maybe I'm subconsciously trying to postpone carpel tunnel syndrome as long as possible.

Argh

This kid really knows the worst days to try my patience.  Doesn't help that she had pixie sticks and is bouncing of the walls.  I was supposed to go to a volunteer meeting tonight but opted to stay home with Taylor.  She has kennel cough and is on antibiotics as well as cough medicine.  I had to crate her tonight because she was coughing so much.  Poor dog.  Hopefully she'll get a few hours of sleep since I just gave her some meds.  If she had stayed in the bedroom, I would've never gotten any sleep.  Seems like as soon as she lays down, she wakes up coughing again.  This is the first time I've ever seen kennel cough.  I ended up calling my director to see what she thought.  At the time, I was afraid she was dying.  She had been hacking and coughing for over five minutes, none stop and her body was stiff, but she continued to wag her tail when I would talk to her.  And this is apparently a MILD case.  I was going to take her to an adoption event this weekend but they can't go unless they are 100% healthy so I'll probably end up doing a transport to Illinois on Saturday.  I may leave Taylor with my director that day in case she still sounds awful.  Kennel cough is actually very similar to the human common cold.  The only reason I have her on antibiotics right now is to prevent an infection.  There have been recent studies that humans can catch kennel cough if they have immune suppressed systems, but in otherwise healthy people, it has shown no signs of spreading through the species. 

You don't have to live in Indiana to adopt me as long as you can make the trip to pick me up.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_2

Doodle Pictures

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_2

Taylor Doodle Noodle

I will post pics of the labradoodle dog after Jasmine goes to sleep.  (we're calling her Taylor as she didn't have a name when she came to me, at first I was calling her Doodle)  If I do it while she's awake, she'll steal my camera.  She's a pretty good dog.  She knows sit, lay and stay.  She doesn't beg for food and I don't think I have yet to hear her bark.  I left her in the living room while we went to the store and she was asleep on the couch when we got home.  She does seem to have a bit of a cold so I'll be going to get her some antibiotics from her previous foster.  In this organization, we have foster a dog that has previously had a foster, in case it doesn't work out, since I am a first time foster.  Mia, my husband's border collie absolutely loves her, which is really odd for Mia, she doesn't like other female dogs, especially black dogs.  I can't wait to see who she finds a home with because she's going to make someone a wonderful family member.  She is better behaved than ANY of my dogs. 

It's been a long day so I made Jasmine a milk shake and then added Bailey's to my own.  They just taste better to me that way, especially when I just missed out on the super bowl. 

Sleep... slllleeeeeeep

I am so tired.  I ended up only getting two hours of sleep.  Doesn't it seem like when you need to fall asleep the most, you just can't seem to get comfortable?  I spent five hours doing the adoption event.  First hour was uncomfortable but after that I felt like I belonged so it went well.  We adopted out several dogs but I don't think any cats went out.  I go to pick up my foster tomorrow before my game.  She is a two year old labradoodle.  (labrador/poodle mix)  She's black and I probably won't have her longer than I'd say a week or two.  They go fast.  We just got her in at the beginning of this week.  I fell in love with one of our smaller dogs today.  He's a Chihuahua but looks like a very tiny pit bull.  It's cute to see a big dog face on a teeny dog.  After the adoption event I had to race home to get changed to go out to eat with some friends of ours and then go back to their house and watch a movie.  I got to cuddle with their 75lb. pit bull through most of it.  She laid on me while I was laying on the couch.  She's so heavy that my ribs still hurt. 

That's their pit, Dipstick above.  (her tail looks like a dipstick so they call her dippy) She's the reason we ended up getting Rocky because we were so in love with her.  She is really a great, laid back dog.  Also the reason why I am so adamant that pit bulls can be great family dogs and non aggressive in the right hands.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_2

I wish the gobblins would take you away... right now

Me and Jasmine are watching the Labyrinth.  It's my absolute favorite movie.  I was sure they wouldn't have it at the video store but they actually had it on the new release wall, something to do with Harry Potter.  He then suggested that I also rent Willow... heh, I already had it in my hand before I went to ask about the other movie.  The last time Jasmine watched this, she was around six months old.  She had nightmares for a month, screaming in the middle of the night, completely sobbing.  I think this time will be different.  Her favorite movie is Jumanji so I think this will be a walk in the park compared to that.  She's already interested because I keep saying how much I love it.  I very strangely, find David Bowie to be super hot in this movie.  I am not a Bowie fan and I don't normally think he's that good looking.  I think it has something to do with nostalgia and maybe a little to do with the fact that he's a bad guy in it.

In the morning I have a four hour volunteer session at Petsmart.  It's almost 3am now and I have to be there at 11am.  I'm actually not worried about it right now.  I'll worry in the morning when I'm exhausted and without coffee, for now I'm going to enjoy my movie and my daughter's expressions during it.

Crazy Cruise

If you haven't seen this video of Tom crazy Cruise... wow.  He thinks he knows EVERYTHING.  S.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y.  Because he is a scientologist, he knows everything about everything.  The secrets of the world, etc.

 

http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress

Cabin Fever

Last night I noticed a spot on Tikki's stomach but I thought he had just run through some poop and hadn't gotten it cleaned off yet.  After all that had happened, I didn't want to upset him more with a bath.  Tonight when I went in to take care of him, I took him around the house with me for a bit.  I noticed that same spot was still there so I thought I would try taking a washcloth and cleaning him a little.  It turns out it was quite a large bite wound.  I suspect he was asleep when his brother started to go and got bitten by him as there were no other wounds or marks.  He will not go back in their nest room and I had thought it was because it was where his brother had died, now I think it may be because he got bit in his sleep and thinks something in that room got him.  For now he's sleeping in an igloo on the bottom floor of his cage.  I have decided that I will call the rescue where I got my ferrets and adopt the two rats she has.  I did a lot of research on how to handle it when an older rats cage mate dies and almost everything said to get several younger rats at a time.  That way if there is any fighting amoungst anyone, there are other rats there to get picked on as well.  I know that sounds bad but it made sense reading it.  Most occasions you can just throw them all in together and keep watch for a few hours and as long as there is no blood shed, they should be ok.  I'm going to clean the cage from top to bottom before I get them.  I hate doing that.  I literally have to climb into the cage in order to get it completely clean.  We didn't take cleaning into account when my dad made the cage.  There are some design flaws with this one so I may be asking him to make a new one after the new additions come home.  (it has a lot of aluminum in it and the urine is acidic enough that the metal is just falling apart) 

Once again, I can't wait to be rid of that ferret cage.  I bought a new litter box the same day I brought home Boots and Bear and I have to take the cage completely off the base in order to clean the litter boxes, as the box won't fit through any of the doors.  We are planning on buying a ferret nation cage by the end of next month.  Their doors are as wide as the cage itself.  (36 inches wide, 25 inches long and 65 inches high)  By the way, if anyone ever reads this and has ferrets and wants a ferret nation cage, I have found the cheapest place to get them is ferret.com.  The shipping is only six bucks and it's a ninety pound cage. 

I can't wait till Friday.  I can finally get out of this house.  We haven't went anywhere all week and I'm getting a little stir crazy.  Every Friday (except for this past one) me and my mom go out.  I haven't had coffee in over two weeks and my taste buds are begging for one.  (another Friday thing) I need to talk to other people!  Right now I have my husband, Jasmine and the animals.  (and they only talk back when I take too much cold medicine)

 

Rikki died sometime during the night.  I went in to feed him and his brother and knew immediately, before I even got near the cage.  Rikki usually beat his brother, Tikki, to the top of the cage.  Tikki was already waiting and seemed to be searching for his brother.  Now I'm not sure what to do.  Rats are social animals and don't do well alone.  I don't have the amount of time available to spend with him to fill that void.  The place where I got my ferrets has eight rats right now and she said that I would be approved if I wanted some.  I'm trying not to make any rash decisions considering I just found him in the last hour or so.  Tikki also isn't extremely sociable with humans like his brother was.  Sure he likes treats and to be petted but for the most part he prefers to be with other rats.  If I did adopt a couple more, I have the chance that they won't get along with him and then I will be back at square one, and have to find a separate cage to house the new ones in.  Maybe I'll be better once I've had some sleep.  I knew this was coming.  He'd been getting skinnier and skinnier.  He was otherwise extremely healthy so I'm assuming it was cancer.  He never seemed to be in any pain and always had an appetite. 

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Green and Gold

I feel so sick at the thought of us going to the super bowl.  I know that seems ridiculous but if we go, it will very likely be against the unbeaten Patriots.  I have confidence in my team that under the right conditions, we could win against them but the sheer magnitude of what they have done this year could be a confidence breaker against some of our younger players.  I shouldn't get ahead of myself, we still have the Chargers this weekend.  Being a football fan really gets in the way of being a volunteer.  I was going to do Saturday's pet smart adoptions but I've had to switch to Sunday in order to see my game.  No way in hell am I missing a playoff game this late in the season.  And then if we win the super bowl, will Brett leave on a high note?  I want a REAL chance to see him live and in person.  I won't get that chance if he retires after this season.  Then again, maybe by going to the super bowl, it will show all those out there that he still has what it takes to be a contender in the NFL.  One thing for sure, if we go to the super bowl, I'm having one hell of a party.  But I won't be drinking.  I don't want to be some drunk idiot and then not remember any of the game.  And if we lose this weekend, well I will want nothing more than for the Chargers to go down in flames. (even though I do NOT want to see the Patriots have an undefeated season)  I obviously didn't win tickets to last weeks game with my essay.  The five finalists were all from Wisconsin (which I found a little bias) and a nun ended up winning overall. 

Boo Boo Booooots

Yesterday, I was playing with the ferrets.  I had Boots with me and was petting her on her belly.  I always kiss them and Boots in particular seems to like "kissing" back.  When I did it last night before I went to put her on the floor with her friends, she bit through my lip.  Sympathetic husband that I have, starts laughing and can't stop.  Apparently, having a white ferret hanging from my mouth was a funny sight.  My lip only bled for a little bit and doesn't seem to be irritated today.  I'll be more careful next time she's near my face. 

I may have an animal transport next weekend or the weekend after, if no one steps up to take them.  I'm not exactly sure of the situation yet, I just know I'll either be taking dogs from Illinois or to a shelter in Illinois.  It's only a two hour drive so it won't be too bad as long as they don't yap the whole way there.  (I DO know they are small breed dogs) 

Piano man

I'm feeling a little depressed and this is a little bit of a depressing song.  If you don't know piano man, you must have just been born yesterday.  ;)

But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete

I've been thinking a lot about my friend that died years ago.  (again it's that time of the year)  I was getting a little upset so I emailed an old friend that was also his friend.  I'm sure I'll regret that later.  He wasn't exactly ever nice to me and I still have a lot of leftover feelings about the whole situation.  But he's the only person that I felt may still be feeling the way I feel.  Everyone else besides my friend's parents seem to have moved on.  It was ten years ago so I can see how that would happen but this was a person that I spent day in and day out with.  It's hard to just get over that, even ten years later.  I don't talk to anyone in his family except his mom and dad.  His sister stopped answering my emails a year or so ago. (I'm not sure why) And his brother... went through a difficult time of his own and it distanced him from everyone else.  You know, when you've been with your husband since you were 16, you'd think that you wouldn't have as much baggage as a 30 year old.  At least he knew what he was getting into when we got together.  If anything, my husband has made me more stable than I ever was before.  There were many times I was spinning out of control, whether it be excessive drinking or, yes, even drugs, I always seemed to be looking for a way out.  When my husband came along, I found a friend that wasn't looking for the next party and it helped ground me.  If I hadn't met my husband, I don't know where I would've gone.  The people that were the biggest influences on me at the time, have went downhill and done things that I couldn't have ever seen myself doing but then again, I'm a different person than I was then.  It's a little strange to look back over those years, the before Shawn years, and see how much I've changed from then to now.  In some ways, it seems like it was just a few weeks ago that I was drinking all the time, partying every day and in others, it seems like that was a totally different person and I just happen to have their memories.  I'm just glad that I was excessive with substances and not with guys.  I have enough regrets, I don'tneed those kind as well.  Which brings me to another thing.  Most of my regrets, are not the things I did, they were the things I didn't do.  I really don't regret most of what I've done because it got me to where I am now, towho I am now.  So I guess you really should just carpe diem, just be careful you're seizing the right things out of the day.

Usual weekend blahs

Friday I had an appointment to see what's going on with my throat.  Of course, no one told me I'd be seeing the nurse practioner and not my regular doctor, otherwise I probably would've waited till he was in the office.  The NP says it's just a sinus infection and gave me antibiotics.  My throat has gotten worse and I've never felt as if I had a sinus infection.  You know, usually there's a runny nose, pressure, pain and I've had none of that.  I also got my flu shot while I was there.  My nurse is used to my fainting by now so she knew it wasn't going in my arm.  I always get it in my thigh so I can be laying down and they seem to hurt less the next day.  I felt fine and was talking to her till she left the room and then I started to feel sick.  My husband knew what was going on and just sat and waited for instructions or to call the nurse if I actually did pass out.  I ended up on the floor.  Jasmine was sitting next to me and wiped my hair off my forehead and made sure my husband didn't "bother" me.  When I asked Shawn for a wet paper towel, Jasmine went and grabbed it from him and told him to stay.  She's a really sweet kid when she's not having a tantrum.  Eventually I was able to pull myself off the floor but it was about a half hour after the nurse left the room.  The rest of the day I felt tired and a little out of it.  That always seems to happen when I get that close to fainting.

Saturday, my mother-in-law came over for dinner.  I had an upset stomach so I slept most of the time she was here.  And I didn't get dinner because of it.  My husband took her home and when he got back, we went for ice cream.  That also meant I missed the late night adoption event that we had on Saturday.  Luckily, I wasn't expected there, I just told them I might stop in. 

Today, I slept.  No, really.  I didn't get up till 9pm.  I felt like crap because of it too.  I feel like I missed the whole weekend sleeping.  Maybe it's the time of year.  It's crappy out so I've been sleeping a lot more.  I hate sleeping all the time.  I was planning on getting up today and going to home depot just to get some ideas.  Of course, by the time I crawled out of bed, everything was closed.  I'm determined to get up today before 4, even if I have as hard of a time falling asleep as I did the night before. 

It's time for me to fly

I'm trying to figure out how much repairs to the house would cost so that we can get everything taken care of and sell it.  I love the house itself but we went into this unprepared.  I want to sell her and save as much money as I can before we get into another mortgage.  If I can save ten grand while we live at my mom's house, I can put that much down on our next house.  I would like to save all together twenty grand before we move out.  So that means my husband WILL hand the money over to me and we WILL save.  I'm not living like this again.  I love this house but we are drowning here.  The debt has become overwhelming.  It's always there, this heaviness.  The phone rings all day long and it's no one we can afford to talk to.  Everyone I know, has a special ring, if one of those doesn't go off, I usually don't bother checking the id.  I'm not going to turn around, buy a house and struggle all over again.  I need to be in control of most things in my life and I think that's why it is weighing so hard on me.  My husband handles the money, all of it.  In order to get rid of this feeling in my stomach, I need to make this all go away, take over the money.  If I KNOW what is going on at all times, only then can I feel less anxiety.  So, I'm working out a plan as it gives me SOME control.  Every weekend from now till this house is sold, we'll be at home depot.  I also plan on packing up our stuff before we put it on the market so it's an immediate occupancy.  I'll keep our couch, tv and bed and that's it.  All other major stuff will be boxed and put in storage.  The less that is here, the more people can picture it as their own home.  And that's the less that I have to move when we do sell.  I love this house and I will miss her in a way that I would've never missed any other house but we knew it was only a matter of time before we moved on and it's time.  Jasmine is going to be three.  I need to have her registered for school in two years and it will NOT be a school where gangs and guns are all too common.  (our area now) Let's hope I can sell her for what I paid and come out even.

Kitty Pics

This is Isaiah.  I've had him from the day he was born.  Sweety (pictured below) had gotten out of the house and pregnant.  That litter died, our husky thought they were squeaky toys?  The day that happened, (which is why she wasn't guarding her kittens) she found a way to open my bedroom screen window (without even busting the thing out) And got pregnant again.  Isaiah was one of those kittens.  He's my little puff ball baby. 

This is Willow.  She showed up in my mom's barn, seemingly out of no where.  She was a VERY tiny kitten and feral.  It took me most of the day of moving inch by inch till I was close enough that I knew I could grab her and hold on.  Once she got indoors, she acted like she lived with us for her entire life.  But it was HELL trying to get her there.

This is Jake he was adopted from Petsconnect a few years ago.  When we brought him home, we found that he had ringworm.  I had to medicate him for a while before the fungus died.  He's also the one that had the accident with his eye.

This is Sweety, aka weety or fat cow.  ;) She's a hefty girl.  Once she got fixed she decided she didn't need to worry about her figure anymore.  She is a great lap cat.  I found her on the side of the road.  My mom said I couldn't have anymore cats so I hid her and her brother (who sadly we no longer have) in my room.  It was weeks before I came forward with the truth. 

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_4

Pile 'O Ferrets

That's Boots big ole butt keeping everyone warm.  You can just barely see Bears face in the back.  Bindi is the little nose sticking up in the air.

Yes, they're all in there... somehwere.  Boots is the white one, Bear is the large brown one but oh no, where's Bindi?  Oh I see her nose sticking out from in between the two other ferrets.  I think she had good heating.  haha

Aren't they so cute.  I just love this picture.  Bears nose is the dark spot in between Bindi and Boots. You just get a side shot of him.

Some of these were taken at different times in the day but they always ended up in a ferret pile at nap time.  It's so sweet to see them all curled up together.

I won both my ebay bids.  They should have an xl hammock tomorrow or Saturday.  It spreads the with of the cage so it's got to be big enough for the three of them.  I also one a huge cube that they can sleep in or play in and it's big enough for FIVE so I think they'll fit comfortably.  They'll probably still use the blanket though.  haha

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_5

Whirling and spinning, time stops for no one

I wrote an entry hours ago but my husband's laptop ate it.  So here we go again.  Things have moved rather fast in the last 24 hours.  I decided to email one of my rescue contacts in the area and see if they needed any help with computer stuff/internet stuff.  I got an email back a little while later saying that she was in desperate need of someone to run the petfinder ads as well as a list full of other things.  As long as the rest of the directors are ok with it, I will be getting the petfinder password and begin working on ads and removing/adding animals when they come in or get adopted out.  I will be helping coordinate an event that will occur once a month at one of the pet stores but anyone who has adopted from us.  It will be a question/answer sort of thing, where if you adopted from us and are having problems or questions regarding your animal, we will be on hand to help you find answers and we're hoping to have a trainer on hand for the last thirty minutes of the session to explain how he could help.  We don't expect this to take off right away.  The first several meetings will probably just be our volunteers.  I'll also be putting together a list of trainers in the area for adopters.  This will be a longer process than the rest.  I first have to get a list of all the trainers around here, then I have to call them all and ask what they specialize in and would they be willing to discount the first session for any of our referrals and do they take all breeds/mutts.  Then I have to put together the list and explain what each trainer specializes in, etc and present it to the board of directors.  There was more that she wants me to do but at the moment I can't remember.  I talked to her for an hour on the phone this morning and admittedly, hadn't been to sleep and had already taking sleeping pills so I wasn't completely with it.  The rescue I'm volunteering for is foster only, there is no shelter.  A minor problem with that is most people that are completely involved with them, end up fostering at least once.  My husband is not keen on this idea at all.  I told her I'd be willing to take something of the herding group but not some yippy dog, no puppies, no hounds... well I had a pretty big list of what I will not take.  I was supposed to go to one of the kill shelters with her tomorrow but I won't be able to.  We'll have to see what happens with that.  I really don't know how I feel about it.  I feel like if I could do it and not get attached that it would be a great service to the animals and we would have one more foster home but at the same time, it's extremely difficult for me not to get attached.  I don't want to be the odd man out.  I know that sounds ridiculous but it's hard to be in that environment and not feel like you're not doing enough.  For now, I'm sticking with the list she gave me.  We also have a huge event in February she would like help with but it's not my cup of tea.  It's a fancy dinner/auction.  If she doesn't have enough volunteers for the event I'll probably go but hopefully I won't have to.  The woman that is my contact is hard to say no to, in fact, she finds ways to make it almost impossible to say no.  So yes, I have gotten a lot on my plate in the last 24 hours.  It all happened extremely fast, within a matter of a few hours.  I'm still a little stunned.  I will not be volunteering at the other shelter now, but they hadn't gotten back to me anyways.  I will not be giving out a name of the rescue that I am working with as I want to be able to be as frank as possible on here without causing myself problems in the real world.  I still feel like my head is spinning with everything that has happened. 

I haven't found a place for any of the dogs on death row.  (and no the rescue I am working with won't take them, we only take from death row in our area) The collie has till tomorrow.  The chow mix has four more days.  I feel awful.  A part of me wishes I'd never gotten involved in the first place but that's the part of me that thinks it would be better if I just hadn't known about them at all.  I keep looking at the picture of the chow and seeing my Tarin in his face.  It's hard to think about for me and actually makes me feel sick.  It's a failure on my part, even though it wasn't my doing that got them in the pound in the first place. 

When I get myself into situations where I'm not in control or don't feel like I know what I am doing, I panic.  Everything sounds like a good idea until the wheels are set in motion and then my brain starts firing off random reasons why this should not happen and why I should run like hell.  Sometimes I do, run that is, and the panic subsides almost immediately but if I go on, I usually find that my fears were unjustified.  I don't think I can run in this case.  These people know me outside of the rescue.  There would be consequences that would go beyond the disappointment that would be in their voice.  I don't know why new situations seem to scare me so much and put me into a tailspin.  Don't get me wrong, that hasn't happened... yet, but I know myself well enough to know that it will come and I need to prepare myself for it.  It will probably happen within the hours of my first meeting with my contact, who we will refer to as Nicole from now on.  She can be difficult as she is very opinionated.  For example, she thinks I should have my pit bull put down, no questions asked, because he has some very mild temperament issues with other dogs when he is eating and occasionally when he has a favored toy.  (pit bulls do not mature completely until about three years of age and can continue to become aggressive until that point) I feel that I shouldn't condemn a dog for no other reason than his breed.  He would NEVER hurt any human unless they were hurting someone he cared about.  (and even then I'm not sure he would hurt them, he's that people friendly)  She feels like if you have a ten year old dog that for whatever reason, you have to find a new home for, that you should euthanize the dog rather than putting it through living in a shelter.  I feel like as long as a dog is still happy and healthy, it deserves a chance.  All that being said, that is why she is the one who deals with incoming emails.  She can say no, quite easily.  Whereas someone like me would say no and then change my mind as my conscience got the better of me.  We ONLY take from kill shelters, we do not take owner surrenders so that makes saying no a little easier but I know I would make an exception here and there and before you know it, it would no longer be only from kill shelters.  The reason I like this foster program is because these animals would have no other way to live than if we were put in place to take them.  These are animals with no other chance than us.  For those reasons, I will bite my tongue when another's opinion isn't exactly what I had in mind, even if they occasionally seem a little heartless.  Wish me luck, I'm going to need it to swallow the panic that will try and hold me back.

I have nothing left for a subject

There really needs to be an easier way to wash a dog.  I washed two of the aussie's tonight.  I don't know why I bother, they're just going to go play in the mud.  At least they were clean for a little while.  I considered doing Savannah as well but by then my back was killing me. 

I'm watching a biography on Robin Williams.  He reminds me so much of my uncle Perry, but my uncle is on a much smaller scale.  Once he gets comfortable he can just suddenly do weird things that are hilarious.  He can kind of flit around at times to the point where it's hard to keep track of him, particularly when he's working.  But he also has as big of a heart as Robin Williams.  You can tell that my uncle cares deeply for everyone around him and for those who are in need.  I got really lucky in the aunts and uncles category. (at least on my mom's side) I just wish we could all see each other more often.  You get so busy that you lose track of time.  Suddenly it's been months, years since you last saw that person that you care so much about. 

I'm still working on getting those three dogs pulled.  Turns out the three legged dog isn't up for euthanasia as soon as they made it out to be but I'm still trying to get her pulled.  I'm hoping to be able to transport her this weekend.  These three shelters that I'm working with right now are extremely slow about responding.  You would think with a life on the line they would be a little more on the ball.  I guess that's why I don't do the administrative stuff in shelters.  I would care far too much for every email I got and strain myself emotionally, if not financially to help everyone I could.  I think that job really requires someone who knows how to put their foot down and say no.  I couldn't do that with an animal or a person pleading with me to help them save an animal.  I'll probably pay Aly's adoption fee to try and get her moved faster.  I should go up to Petsmart this weekend and get in touch with my local contact and see if she can help me or if I could start helping them find dogs.  They ONLY take dogs and cats that are set to be euthanized and I'm pretty good at finding ones that are adoptable, as well as bending over backwards to make it happen.  I have to be careful here though.  If I put myself in too deep emotionally with these dogs, I'll lose myself along the way.  My family, and animals should come first and sometimes, when rescuing, I don't do such a good job with that.  I become overwhelmed and lose track of where I am and what's going on around me.  All that matters is those animals.  I think that's why I removed myself from shelter/rescue life for so many years.  I submerse myself in this life and lose the one I had.  I needed time to regroup. 

Waaaaah Wah

I cannot stand that SOB.  He drives past my house every morning and every morning I have to hear waaaah wah.  He drives a semi and he has family or something that live across the road from me and for whatever reason, he seems to think they enjoy hearing waaaaah wah every morning.  Stupid semi horn blowing guy.  Ok, I'm done with pouting now. 

I meant to do this on the last entry but I had forgotten and now I'm glad I didn't because the last one had a happier feel and this is not a happy subject.  I went on peta's website tonight.  I do this from time to time but not frequently as it makes me feel guilty for eating steak, chicken, pork chops... animals.  And now I'm not sure if I CAN eat those things ever again.  I LOVE meat.  I went vegatarian for a year sometime in the beginning of my relationship with my husband... it was probably about five or six years ago.  I did really good for that year.  I didn't even crave meat.  But I was starving for nutrition.  I don't eat a lot of fruits and vegatables.  I can literally go through them easily here; potatoes, green beans, carrots, corn and I think that covers the vegatables onto fruits; banana's.  Yeah I'm a healthy one. ; )~  Therefore, I wasn't getting any of the vitamins and minerals that I would normally get from meat.  My iron was ALWAYS low and then when I cut meat out of it, I had to take 65mg of iron a day.  Reccomended daily does for people with anemia is 27mg.  I wasn't getting much if any protein.  I would have a pb sandwich once a week but I don't think there's quite that much protein in peanut butter.  One day, my mom was out making cheeseburgers on the grill for herself and the boys and I just HAD to have MEAT.  I don't know what came over me.  I felt like a lion that had been on vegatables for weeks and had just gotten my first wiff of red meat.  I walked up casually and said I'll have one too.  My mom's head about snapped off her neck she looked at me so fast.  You, meat?  Just do it, I must have meat.  It took me about 2.5 seconds to eat the cheeseburger and from then on, I went back to being an omnivore.  I don't know how much longer that will last after the things I saw last night.  At times I literally put my hand across the screen so that I wouldn't have to witness quite that much... well I don't want to say anything if you don't want to know and would like to continue to eat as an omnivore.  So, I will post the link below and you have your choice as to what you do or do not watch.  I will tell you that it is videos of the animals you eat, pigs, chicken, cows, ducks, turkeys, ect.  You watch them from when they are still at the farm to when they get to the slaughterhouse.  And you can decide to watch just one, you don't have to watch all of them if after one, you've seen enough.  For me it was like watching a car wreck, I couldn't stop.  I watched them all and lost my appetite real fast.  At this point and time though, I feel like I wouldn't be helping the cows at ALL if I didn't go vegan or at least partially vegan. (nothing from cows at all) No milk, no cheese, no butter.  I just don't know how much I can do.  It will all depend on how quickly my brain can push all that to the back of my head and I can eat meat without guilt... ok with the same amount of guilt I had before I saw THAT. 

http://www.goveg.com/

There will be a thing on the left side that says meet the animals.  Click on which animal conditions you would like to see and it will play for you. 

Can't say I'm a Quiter

I won on ebay for the first time today.  I've bid on quite a few things in the past but have always been outbid, usually in the last minutes of the auction.  Don't worry, I didn't win anything as outlandish as football tickets.  I won an extra large hammock for my ferrets for four bucks.  They all keep trying to sleep together and someone always ends up alone because they just don't make ferret beds large enough for more than one.  I have another auction that I'm currently winning but it's got about fifteen hours left on it so we'll see if I win that one.  It's a large hanging cube that they can sleep in or play in.  I hope to eventually make most of their bedding, hammocks, etc. myself but I have to find someone with a sewing machine that they no longer want.  I've been posting on freecycle to see if anyone replies but so far no luck.  If I get good enough at it, I will open my own ebay store and sell them online.  There are only two well known people that do it now so it's not like there's not room.  I'd also like to donate them to some of the shelters.  I was also going to try my hand at dog/cats beds and things like that.  It would be nice to give a shelter dog something soft to sleep on other than the cement floor.  Speaking of shelter dogs, I'm trying to get three more that are on death row pulled.  I'm trying to do it without so much shelter assistance this time.  One problem with emailing all those shelters at once, I got a LOT of responses with the last one.  And then when I emailed them all to tell them he'd been pulled, I got a LOT more responses with specific questions about where he went, etc.  It's a lot of emailing to do out of courtesy to those who tried to help.  Out of over two hundred emails, I only got two that could've been a little more nice.  One was AFTER the dog had already been pulled (I wasn't up yet to see he had been pulled so I couldn't update those that I emailed) and the woman emailed me saying that my email was a waste of her time and the dog had already been pulled.  The other was someone saying they were full and that I shouldn't be looking at dogs on death row if I don't have a shelter support system.  While that may be partly true, don't they think they would rather more people cared enough to make a difference?  I don't know.  I don't answer those emails day in and day out so maybe it gets frustrating after a while getting all those pleas for help.  I only answered a handful of emails at the last shelter I worked at and that was mostly answering questions about animals we currently had.  One thing that I had no idea was so hard before I entered rescue, was the dogs descriptions on webpages.  Do you know how hard it is to give each and every dog a special description?  Sometimes, one dog is just like another and there isn't really anything that stands out.  You have to use the thesaurus a great deal to make it not sound redundant. 

 

This is Trinity.  She is two years old and only has three legs.  She's close enough that I am able to transport her to rescue if needed.  She stood out to me because she was so skinny.  The shelter says she gets passed up because she goes nuts when someone walks past.  (in a happy way)

This is Aly.  She is a Collie mix and still close enough to transport if absolutely necessary.  (four hours one way) I want to try and stay close to herding breeds as they do AWFUL in shelter situations and need to be pulled as soon as possible.  She looks so scared already.

This is Buddy.  I couldn't figure out why I kept going back to his picture over and over again.  I felt drawn to him.  I realized an hour or so ago, that it's because he has the same head shape and facial expression as one of my aussie's, Tarin.  They aren't the same colors, not even close but the profile is there.  He's a male collie, age unknown.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_3

SAVED

I did it!!!  He is saved and will no longer be on death row.  I feel like I should do it for all of them but I think the shelters would stop opening my emails after a while.  I am just so happy that he will not be dying and will have a chance at life.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Last one for the night

I can't save them all but I'm going to safe THIS one.  I have emailed over 250 shelters since my last post.  I will do more when I get up.  These were all shelters in Ohio.  I've already gotten one response but the only way she can help is if I foster him.  I'm using that as my last resort because I will don't want to drive to the middle of no where Ohio, but I will if that day comes.  She thinks he would be adopted quickly, especially because of the blue eye.  Keep your fingers crossed that I have good news later!

Why oh Why do good dogs die?

He has eight days to live.  Why is it that I can't seem to stop looking at these dogs?  He is Ohio, and is an Aussie/Border Collie mix with one blue eye.  I look at him and think how he could've been August.  She was found in a pound with her little tail wiggling.  It's like he's looking right into my eyes, saying please, don't let this happen to me.  Please, don't let me die, knowing I did nothing to deserve this.  Don't let my life end at six months.  I can't help but wonder what these dogs would be like if they were given a chance to live in a home and loved.  Would he wiggle at the door when you came home?  Chase frisbees for hours?  Would he want to sleep next you every night just to be near you?  I wish I had room for all of them.  It's so hard for me to look at him and KNOW that I can't do anything for him.  If I was rich, I would try to do something for as many as I could.  But I'm not so all I can do is watch as his days count down to none and know that a good dog isn't going to get his second chance.

 

 

Zoinks

I know many of you may find me crazy but I don't feel I do enough for animals, particularly those that are currently homeless.  That being said, I am volunteering three hours once a week to one of the shelters near me.  The only reason I haven't volunteered at this shelter before was, well, I was pissed at how many hoops I had to jump through to adopt a dog from them.  I knew the dog was special and it turns out, I was right.  The family that adopted her had a fire in their house, and that same dog is the one that woke them up and alerted them to it.  For that, I am glad I backed out of the adoption.  If I hadn't, who knows what would have happened to them.  I believe this to be the best shelter in our area.  They do everything and I mean everything in their power to take care of the animals that come in to them.  They currently have minimum six month waiting list to get your dog into them, as people know their dogs will be well taken care of and receive good homes.  If a dog comes to them and has an illness or a genetic problem, they fix it unless it absolutely can't be fixed.  They use water therapy, treadmills, you name it.  Therefore, I think I can learn a little as well as help out.  I have only volunteered for one other shelter in the past year and that was just for a bake sale.  I watch too much animal planet.  Every time I watch one of the animal cops shows, I feel the need to run out and save everything, at least this way I'll feel like I'm still making a difference, even if I can't take anymore animals in.  (and I'm completely at my limit now, the ferrets were the last of my animals for a while)  Besides, while I stay at home and play mommy, I still need to keep up with shelters/vets to put on my resume for when I'm done having kids and they're all in at least elementary school.  It's hard to get into a vet's office if you haven't had any prior experience for ten years, at least none that can be accounted for. 

No sooner did I finish my application to volunteer, than did Jasmine say 'Mommy, Jasmine peed.'  She had a diaper on but I knew if she was telling me, then I was not about to be a happy mommy.  She had managed to open the side of her diaper and then proceed to pee on my bed, inchesfrom my pillow.  Did I mention that all my sheets are in the dirty clothes?  So at 4am I was washing my whole three sheets and any blankets that were dirty, as well as flipping my mattress.  While I was filling up the washer, I let the dogs go out.  Cash, the doberman is still only allowed outside on a tie out and now must wear a choker (only when he goes out, I take it off when he comes in) as he had figured out how to slip out of his collar.  When I went to let everyone back inside, my 80lb dog looked at me from under the awning and refused to move.  He thinks he'll melt or maybe be swallowed whole by the lake outside my door.  I ended up going out in the pouring rain to try and drag him in the house, no such luck.  I tried treats, again, he wouldn't budge.  Finally, I got him riled up and ready to play, grab his collar, got a running start so he wouldn't have time to stop when we got to the large "puddle" and got him to the backdoor.  I couldn't be mad at him because while I was out there, he was cowering as if it really would kill him to cross that water.  Not that I was happy to be out in the pouring rain in my underwear at 4 in the morning but at least it was in the fifties and not the teens. 

On another note, am I the only aol blogger out there that is really annoyed with the lack of customizing options that we have?  Would it kill them to give us as many font/color options as we have in our email?  I don't know about you all but I get rather bored with the 70 or so bland colors we have to choose from. (half of which aren't even readable once on a white background)  I'd also like to see some more options on the layout of our journals as well as the colors that go along with those layouts.  I don't want to do hours of research to figure out how to do the stuff myself, that's what I pay them for.

Have you looked out your window today?

First of all, my grandma's surgery went fine.  She could even move her fingers today!  The break in her wrist was just horrendous so it's shocking that after the surgery she could move at all.  We'll probably head to my mom's tomorrow to see her.

What is going on the with the weather???  I know I'm not the only one experiencing this as I have visited others journals who lived across the country seeing record breaking weather.  We had a high of 65 today.  In northern Indiana in January, that is unheard of.  We also had a tornado watch today that will continue through tomorrow I'm sure as we are supposed to have very bad storms tomorrow night.  (we have flood warnings in effect till then too) Did I fall into a coma and miss winter?  I can't step out the door without soaking my shoes.  For whatever reason, the water doesn't drain so well right there and there's no way to avoid it all.  If it doesn't go somewhere, next week it'll be ice.  If it stops raining before it gets too cold, I'm going to go out there and try and move some to the end of the steps/cement.  Poor dogs absolutely did not want to go outside tonight.  I can't say I blame them but they don't have much of a choice but to go out. 

I really should get to the doctor for my throat.  I had an appointment a week ago but missed it due to the snow we had.  (I wasn't about to risk my life over it) Now I don't want to call them in case I end up with someone wanting to lecture me on the reasons for calling and canceling.  I actually tried to call the night before but they don't have a way to cancel if the office isn't open and quite frankly, if I don't get to sleep till 7am, I'm not waking up special to call and cancel.  But this has been going on since the 21st of December and it's not going away on it's own. 

Grandma

I'm finding it impossible to sleep tonight.  My grandma is having surgery to realign the bones in her wrist as well as put two metal plates in today. (from her fall on Christmas day) I feel like I should be there.  I want to be there.  I would rather worry at the hospital than feel completely out of the loop here.  She asked that no one take off work or anything out of the ordinary.  But if it was my grandpa, I would've went, even if he had asked me not to.  I went to the hospital every time he was hospitalized and when he had his lung surgery.  I don't want her to think that she is any less important to me than he was.  I knew I would sit here worrying so I didn't make Jasmine go to bed.  I just let her keep putting in movie after movie because at least she would distract me occasionally.  Even writing this, there are times where I just wonder off in my mind and don't type anything for long moments.  When my uncle had his back surgery a few years ago, I went.  Jasmine was still pretty small then and I managed to keep her fairly calm the several hours in the waiting room.  I hadn't been planning on going because Jasmine's sleep schedule has always been backwards.  (sleep during the day, awake all night) But for whatever reason, that night she actually went to sleep and then woke up long before I had to be at the hospital.  I know I can't go up there today.  I don't have my car, haven't had any sleep, Jasmine just fell asleep an hour ago, it's just not feasible and yet I feel like I should do something.  I hate feeling helpless and out of control.

Weasels

The ferrets get along great.  The two girls even slept in the same hammock tonight.  Although, after I left them, I put them in seperate cages, Bear can be, well, a bear.  He pins both girls as frequently as he can and when first meeting Bindi, she squealed when he bit her so I seperated them.  Bindi is very spunky so she's been holding her own most of the time but I didn't want to leave them together all night without being able to supervise them.  I think it'll work out fine after a few more days.  I'm starting to like the smell of ferrets.  When I first brought Bindi home, I didn't mind the smell but I didn't love it either.  Now I think I'm getting a little more used to it and it's growing on me.  The two new ones are about three times the size of Bindi, another reason not to leave them alone for long periods of time, size-wise, she can't hold her own.  Thankfully, Boots is a very sweet girl and hasn't shown any aggression at all. 

The new additions

This is Boots our new female ferret.  She loves to be petted and held.  She's not as much into playing as the other two are.

This is Bear.  He is a very large male.  He loves to play and he and Bindi chase eachother around like maniacs.  If you haven't figured it out by now, we were approved and brought them home today.

Some wedding pics

Me and Jasmine as my cousins wedding.

 

Me and my brother's girlfriend at my cousin's wedding.  My brother Jason and his girlfriend Koda.

 

Sunny Days, gawd I hate sesame street........

I'm in a relatively pissy mood tonight but we'll get into that later.  (thought I'd warn you all in advance!)  For whatever reason, I feel like commenting on the Britney Spears circus.  I think this girl should've been locked up for mental evaluation weeks ago.  Anyone could've seen this coming.  Who would've thought, Kevin Federline a better parent?  Years ago I thought this guy was a total douche but now that he is actually trying to protect his kids, I have to give him some respect.  I mean, when she was pregnant with the first kid she was on one of those news shows (20/20 maybe?) talking about her whole life all she wanted to do was be a mother and have lots of kids, ya'll.  And now all they say is that she is emotionally detached from both boys and is putting them in harm's way for publicity.  Which after the last several weeks of weirdness, I believe she would do.  I can't see why anyone would purposely put themselves in the middle of those flashing camera's night after night just to see themselves ridiculed on another issue of Us Weekly.  Bad publicity is still publicity but really is it worth all that.  Your Britney friggin Spears, the world is not going to forget about you if you take a break for a while.  The whole situation leaves me shaking my head thinking what the hell?

I think these last few weeks of stress have caught up to me.  I was near punching my husband tonight and he didn't even know it although I'm pretty sure he was aware I was pissed.  First, I was sick and got no help with anything.  (and got a shitty sigh when I asked for help) Then, Jasmine starts getting sick, again no help.  Now he claims he's sick and expects me to feel awful for him.  Not gonna happen.  Finally, when trying to do everything today I started to lose it.  He came in the room and had the balls to ask me what my problem was and I told him I haven't gotten any help and I have shit to do.  (Jasmine was standing behind me asking for something and then immediately asking for something else) After that I went in the bedroom and didn't do anything, at all.  When Jasmine asked for food I just said I'm not getting up.  When she asked for water, I'm not getting up.  The last time I said it, he got up and went and got her soup but was slamming things around the whole time.  I felt like saying what's it feel like when you do everything and the other person just sits there doing whatever they feel like?  I can't wait till Jasmine finally goes back to sleep.  I'm taking a sleeping pill and another pill to calm me down and then I'm going to r.e.l.a.x.

Speaking of Jasmine, she threw up again today but it was because the dog jumped up and gave her a bloody nose.  (she doesn't get that from me, I've had one bloody nose my entire life and it wasn't when I broke my nose) She's having trouble breathing and crying through all the nose ucky.  I finally got her to take some tylonel cold an hour ago.  She was to the point where she couldn't breathe out her nose at all.  (but still wouldn't spit out the binkie) Which I'm tired of hearing people say she should be giving up by now.  I have to fight with her enough on a daily basis, I'm not taking my only saving grace away.  She's not going to have it when she's in high school, all kids get rid of them eventually. 

Tomorrow I think I'm going to go get some ice cream.  There's this ice cream place that I had no idea exsisted and the only reason I know is because I read about some internet prank involving this company.  (said they were giving away free ice cream tomorrow... they have no such plans) My only problem is they don't have plain vanilla ice cream but I need to try something different.  The place is called Cold Stone Creamery. 

I'm going to finish some of my online stuff and then I'm going to procede to bitch to my brother's girlfriend for the next forty minutes or so.  After all, what are friends for?  ;)

Sick ward

My morning started off badly yesterday.  I woke up just as Jasmine started throwing up.  Every time she gets a cold she throws up in the mornings.  I think it's got something to do with post nasal drip.  Poor kid.  She would fall back to sleep almost immediately only to wake up 15 minutes later to do it all over again.  This went on and off for a few hours.  When she got up at 1pm, I figured she was up for good.  She drank an entire glass of water and then fell back to sleep.  Thankfully she didn't throw up anymore but my sheets and blankets were in bad need of the washer.  She seemed fine when she actually got out of bed.  Maybe a little more whiny than usual but otherwise good.  My husband came home whiny and sick.  He worked his full shift then came home and slept for a few hours.  A part of me had wished I had let him sleep more because once he woke up all he did was whine.  I'm like c'mon, I just had this cold and it's not that awful.  I feel like I have two kids right now dealing with both of them being sick.  At least I don't have to worry about catching it.  ; )

Ferret Pictures

Had to get a drink before the real playing begins.  She loves that crock but boxes the water before she sure she wants to drink from it.

 

She's standing on a t-shirt that she was insisting on sleeping in when she was out of the cage so I threw it in there and tied it so she can't move it.  When I went to clean the cage, I took all the shelves down and didn't remember how it was all in there before.  I decided I'd just wing it.  BAD IDEA.  I spent three hours trying to find a way to put those shelves in there to make sure it was both safe and fun. 

 

 

 

I came down to this end of the tunnel mom because there's something in the other end but since you're so close, maybe I'll go investigate.

 

 

Within ten seconds of taking this picture, that cat jumped sky high and came flying out of Bindi's toy.  But when he turned around to look, there was no one there.  He stared at the entrance for quite a while before Bindi got bored waiting for him and came up behind him, dooking to get the cat's attention.  And by the way, I have no idea how that cat (who is rather large) managed to squeeze into that cube.  It was made with a ferrets size in mind, not a cat's!

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_4